Category: Political Jokes

NOT CRAZY

At the Soviet Emigration Office:

“What are your reasons for requesting an Emigration Permit?”

“My uncle in Canada has become totally deaf and cannot manage on his own.”

“Hmm. And why doesn’t your uncle come here to live with you?”

“He is just deaf, not crazy.” 

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Category: Ethnic Stories
NOT DEAF 

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink was driving home from the city one night and,
of course, his car weaved violently all over the road. A cop pulled him over.

"So," - said the cop to the driver, - where have ya been?"

"Why, I've been to the pub of course," - slurred the drunk.

"Well," said the cop, - "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."

"I did all right," - the drunk said with a smile.

"Did you know," - said the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, - "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"

"Oh, thank heavens," - sighed the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

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Category: Naughty Jokes

 SAY AGAIN

There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St. Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the Cambridge rag, “The Cambridge Distorter” told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin biddies. One of the twins was hard of hearing, but the other could hear quite well. The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa and the deaf one asked of her twin:

“WHAT DID HE SAY?”
“He said, that WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!”  – said the other.
“Now get a little closer together” – said the cameraman.
Again:
“WHAT DID HE SAY?” 
“HE SAYS, SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE.”
So they wiggled up close to each other.
“Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little”, – said the photographer.
Yet again:
“WHAT DID HE SAY?”
“HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!”
With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out:
“OH MY GOD - BOTH OF US?”

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