Category: Simpleton

DOCTOR'S MATE

A doctor in Newfoundland wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant:

"George, I am going hunting tomorrow, but I don't want to have to close the clinic. I want you to take care of it and all of our patients". 

"Yes, sir!!!" - answered George. The doctor went hunting and on returning the following day, asked:

"So, George, how was your day?" 

George told him that he took care of three patients:

"The first one had a headache, so I gave him TYLENOL." 

"Bravo George and the second one?" - asked the doctor. 

"The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir" - said George.

"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" - asked the doctor.

 "Sir, as I was sitting here at the desk, suddenly the door opened and a woman entered. In a flash, she undressed herself, took off everything, lied down on the table, spread her legs and shouted:

"HELP ME! For 5 years I have not seen any man!!!!!" 

"And what did you do George?" - asked the doctor. 

"I put drops in her eyes."

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Category: At Work

MATHEMATICAL HELP

The owner of a golf course in Kentucky was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said:

"You graduated from the University of Kentucky, I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment and then replied:

"Everything but my earrings."

And that's exactly why he hired her!

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Category: Ethnic Stories
BRITISH GENEROSITY 

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale has hit Pakistan.

 Two million Pakistanis have died and over a million are injured.

 The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help to rebuild.

 The rest of the world is in shock.

 The United States is sending troops to help.

 Saudi Arabia is sending oil.

 Latin American countries are sending supplies.

 New Zealand is sending sheep, cattle and food crops.

 The rest of the European community (except France) is sending money.

 The Asian continents are sending labor to assist in rebuilding infrastructure.

 Australia is sending medical teams and supplies.

The Brits, not to be outdone, are sending two million replacement Pakistanis!

God Bless British generosity.

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