Category: Animal Stories

TALKING PET

A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store one Saturday and told the clerk that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After considering numerous options, he finally bought a talking centipede, which came in a little white box. He took the box with his new pet home, found a good spot for the box and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him the next day.

Sunday morning, he asked the centipede in the box:

"Would you like to go to church with me today? We will have a good time."

But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, since he was assured by the pet store that the centipede would talk once he got it home and it was comfortable with its surroundings. He waited a few minutes and then asked again:

"How about going to church with me and receive blessings?"

But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, contemplating the situation. He decided to ask it one more time, this time putting his face up against the centipede's box and shouting:

"Hey, in there! Would you like to go to church with me and learn about the Lord!?"

A little voice came out of the box:

"I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my shoes!"

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Category: Ethnic Stories

JEWISH DOG

A Jew named Hirsch lived alone in the outskirts of the small town with a pet dog he doted on. The dog finally died and Hirsch went to the rabbi and asked:

“Rabbi, my darling dog, who for the last 15 years has been my only companion and who was such a comfort to me in my loneliness, has passed away. Could I bury be him in the Hirsch family plot in cemetery?”

The rabbi replied:

“No, we cannot bury the creature in our cemetery, but I know the minister of the church down the road, maybe he'll able to do something for the animal.”

Hirsch said:

“I'll go there right now. Do you think a donation $50,000 would reward him for his help?”

The rabbi asked:

“Why didn't you tell me the dog was Jewish?”

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Category: At School TEACHER’S PET

The class assignment was to write an essay entitled:

“There is only one Mother!”

Moishe’le’s paper read:

“Mother sent me to get some eggs from the fridge, but I told her:

'There is only one, Mother!”

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