Category: From the Mouths of Babes

CHANNELHOPPER

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said:

"Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"

Little Johnny quickly replied:

"NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"

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Category: From the Mouths of Babes

PSYCHOLOGY

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying:

"Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

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Category: From the Mouths of Babes

PEEPING TOMS

The teacher was a pretty young thing and the adolescents in her class showed great interest in her hidden charms. One day, she was giving an assignment to her class. It was a large assignment, so she started writing high up on the blackboard. Suddenly, one of the boys sniggered loudly. She quickly turned and saw that it was a boy in the third row.

“What's so funny Pat?” - demanded the teacher.

“I just saw one of your garters, teacher” - answered the boy.

“Get out of my classroom,” - she yelled. “I don't want to see you for three days.”

The teacher went back to writing the assignment. Realizing she had forgotten to title it, she reached to the very top of the blackboard. Suddenly there was an even louder giggle from another student. Again she turned and asked:

“What's so funny Billy?”

“Well miss, I just saw both of your garters.”

Again she yelled:

“Get out!” This time the punishment was even more severe. “I don't want to see you for a week.”

Embarrassed and frustrated, when she returned to finishing the assignment, she dropped the eraser. As she bent over to pick it up, she saw, that Moishe’le, who sat in the first row, stood up, collected his things and started to leave the class.

“And where do you think you are going?” - asked the teacher.

“Well teacher, from what I just saw,” - answered Moishe’le - “ my school days are probably over.”

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Category: From the Mouths of Babes

NOT VERY HELPFUL

It was the first day of school and the teacher told her kindergarten class:

“If any of you has to go to the bathroom, you should hold up two fingers.”

After a moment of quiet thought, one little boy asked:

“And how will that help?”

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Category: Ethnic Stories

NO DISCRIMINATION

On the school bus the white and black children were constantly fighting among themselves.

“Enough of that!” - shouted the exasperated teacher. He had the driver stop the bus, told the children to get out and form a line at the roadside.

“From now on,” - announced the teacher - “there will be no whites and blacks. From now on everybody will be blue. Understood? All right, get on the bus, presto, first the bright-blues and then the dark-blues.

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Category: Dinking Problem

PICKY CUSTOMER

Waiter: “May I get you a cup of tea?”

Guest: “I don’t drink tea.”

Waiter: “A cup of coffee?”

Guest: “I don’t drink coffee.”

Waiter: “A coke?”

Guest: “I don’t drink coke.”

Waiter: “A whisky with club soda”

Guest: “I don’t drink club soda.”

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Category: From The Mouths Of Babes PEEPING TOMS

The teacher was a pretty young thing and the adolescents in her class showed great interest in her hidden charms. One day, she was giving an assignment to her class. It was a large assignment, so she started writing high up on the blackboard. Suddenly, one of the boys sniggered loudly. She quickly turned and saw that it was a boy in the third row.

“What's so funny Pat?” - demanded the teacher.

“I just saw one of your garters, teacher” - answered the boy.

“Get out of my classroom,” - she yelled. “I don't want to see you for three days.”

The teacher went back to writing the assignment. Realizing she had forgotten to title it, she reached to the very top of the blackboard. Suddenly there was an even louder giggle from another student. Again she turned and asked:

“What's so funny Billy?”

“Well miss, I just saw both of your garters.”

Again she yelled:

“Get out!” This time the punishment was even more severe. “I don't want to see you for a week.”

Embarrassed and frustrated, when she returned to finishing the assignment, she dropped the eraser. As she bent over to pick it up, she saw, that Moishe’le, who sat in the first row, stood up, collected his things and started to leave the class.

“And where do you think you are going?” - asked the teacher.

“Well teacher, from what I just saw,” - answered Moishe’le - “ my school days are probably over.”

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Category: From the Mouths of Babes NOT VERY HELPFUL

It was the first day of school and the teacher told her kindergarten class:

“If any of you has to go to the bathroom, you should hold up two fingers.”

After a moment of quiet thought, one little boy asked:

“And how will that help?”

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Category: At School TEACHER’S PET

The class assignment was to write an essay entitled:

“There is only one Mother!”

Moishe’le’s paper read:

“Mother sent me to get some eggs from the fridge, but I told her:

'There is only one, Mother!”

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Category: In the Middle East ONE-TRACK MIND Most Israeli children never see snow. The elementary school teacher, wanting somehow to demonstrate this natural phenomenon, prepared a bag with small, white paper pellets and while explaining to her class the differences between the European and Israeli winter, threw them into the air. “Children, what does this remind you of?” - she asked. A girl raised her finger. “Yes, Miriam!” - said the teacher. “It reminds me of the day, when a pillow-case was torn and the feathers flew all over our house.” “Very good, but I thought of something slightly different.” Another girl said that the falling pellets reminded her of falling snow, as she saw in a film. “Excellent, Tamar!” - commented the teacher and wanted to continue with the lesson, when she noticed yet another raised finger. “Yes, Moishe’le. What does this remind you of?” “Of sex,” - said the child. “Sex?” - wondered the teacher. “How does that come into it?” “Everything reminds me of sex!”

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Category: From the Mouths of Babes GOOD REASON The kindhearted teacher saw Moishe’le wailing bitterly in the corridor. “Why are you crying Moishe’le?” - she asked. “The headmaster fell down the stairs.” “But that is no reason to cry. Nothing happened to him.” “Yes, but everybody saw it except for me!”

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