Category: Political Jokes
EXCECUTIVE MISCHIEF

This joke has probably been retold countless of times, always substituting the current politicians’ names. So let’s not use any names this time.

On a bright winter morning, as the President went out jogging, he was surprised to see his name spelled out in piss in the fresh snow. He was furious. After all, wasn’t he the President of the United States? He rushed back to the White House and ordered the FBI Chief to find the culprit promptly. After a few days, the FBI Chief reported back and announced to his Head of State that he had both good news and bad news.

“Give me the good news first,” - said the President. “Did you get the bastard?”

“Piece of cake! An analysis of the urine showed it was that of the Vice President.”

“If these are the good news, then for Heaven’s sake, what are the bad ones?” - demanded the President in exasperation

“The handwriting is that of your wife’s, Mr. President”.

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Category: At Work

WELL CONNECTED

The president of the company called for one of his subordinates:
“Congratulations young man! I’ve never seen such a quick advancement within our organization. You started half-a-year ago as a simple clerk, in two months you made department manager, in three additional months, division manager and now I’m happy to advise you that you have been appointed as vice-president. What do you say?”
“It’s really nice of you Dad!”

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Category: Political Jokes

SHE ALWAYS HAS THE LAST WORD

The President and the First Lady were out in their car when they stopped by a gas station. There are certain needs, which even people in their exalted position cannot disregard. When the Prez returned from the washroom, he overheard the attendant addressing his spouse by her first name and as they were driving away, both waved to each other in a friendly way.

“Who was that guy?” – demanded the Chief of State.

“Oh, just a someone I used to date before I met you,” – replied his wife nonchalantly.

“Then you are lucky you met me. You could be married now to a gas-station attendant.”

“Or maybe, he would be the President of the US.”

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Category: Political Jokes DARING GUYS

Ivan and Joe were having a beer in the pub. Said Joe:

“Ours is a wonderful country, Ivan. It is so democratic, that once I spit on the President’s car and nothing happened to me.”

“That’s nothing! I once took a shit in Red Square.”

After a few more beers Joe spoke up again:

“I must confess, that when I spit on the President’s car, it was empty.”

“Then I must confess also, that when I took a shit in Red Square I didn’t take off my pants.”

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Category: Mothers JEWISH MOTHER

The first Jewish President was elected. He called his mother:

“Mama, I've won the election, you've got to come to the swearing-in ceremony.”

“I don't know. What would I wear?”

“Don't worry, I'll send you a dressmaker.”

“But I only eat kosher food.”

“Mama, I am going to be the President, I can get you kosher food.”

“But how will I get there?”

“I'll send a limo, just come Mama.”

“Ok, Ok, if it makes you happy.”

The great day came and Mama was seated between the Supreme Court justices and the future cabinet members. She nudged the gentleman on her right.

“You see that girl, the one with her hand on the Bible? Her brother's a doctor!”

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Category: Political Jokes EXECUTIVE MISCHIEF

This joke has probably been retold countless of times, always substituting the current politicians’ names. So let’s not use any names this time.

On a bright winter morning, as the President went out jogging, he was surprised to see his name spelled out in piss in the fresh snow. He was furious. After all, wasn’t he the President of the United States? He rushed back to the White House and ordered the FBI Chief to find the culprit promptly. After a few days, the FBI Chief reported back and announced to his Head of State that he had both good news and bad news.

“Give me the good news first,” - said the President. “Did you get the bastard?”

“Piece of cake! An analysis of the urine showed it was that of the Vice President.”

“If these are the good news, then for Heaven’s sake, what are the bad ones?” - demanded the President in exasperation

“The handwriting is that of your wife’s, Mr. President”.

Custom Search

Category: At Work WELL CONNECTED The president of the company called for one of his subordinates:

“Congratulations young man! I’ve never seen such a quick advancement within our organization. You started half-a-year ago as a simple clerk, in two months you made department manager, in three additional months, division manager and now I’m happy to advise you that you have been appointed as vice-president. What do you say?”

“It’s really nice of you Dad!”

Custom Search