Category: C'est la Vie

SHUT HIM UP

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken.

“You've got to have a room somewhere,” - he pleaded. “Or just a bed, I don't care where.”
“Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy,” - admitted the manager -”and he might be glad to split the cost, but to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you.”
“No problem,” - the tired Marine assured him. “I'll take it.”
The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
“How'd you sleep?” - asked the manager.
“Never better.”
The manager was impressed.
“No problem with the other guy snoring, then?”
“Nope, I shut him up in no time” - said the Marine.
“How'd you manage that?” - asked the manager.
“He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room,” - the Marine explained. “I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful' and he sat up all night watching me.”

Custom Search

Category: Marital Bliss

BERIBBONED

A couple had a dog that snored. When the woman complained to the vet, he advised her to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring.

“Yeah right!” – she said.

That night, the husband was out late with his buddies. A few minutes after the wife went to bed, the dog began snoring as usual. The woman tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she went to the closet, grabbed a piece of ribbon and tied it carefully around the dog's testicles. Sure enough, the dog stopped snoring. The woman was amazed!

The husband came home late, more than a little tipsy, climbed immediately into bed, fell asleep and began snoring loudly. His wife, again unable to sleep, thought that maybe the ribbon would do the trick on him too. So she went to the closet once again, grabbed a piece of ribbon and tied it around her husband's testicles. Amazingly it also worked on him! At last she could sleep soundly.

The husband awakened from his drunken stupor and stumbled into the bathroom. As he stood in front of the toilet, he glanced in the mirror and saw a blue ribbon attached to his privates. He felt very confused and as he walked back into the bedroom, he saw red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles. He shook his head, looked at the dog and said:

“I don't know where we were, or what we did, but by God, we got first and second places.”

Custom Search

Category: C'est la Vie SHUT HIM UP

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken.

“You've got to have a room somewhere,” - he pleaded. “Or just a bed, I don't care where.”

“Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy,” - admitted the manager -”and he might be glad to split the cost, but to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you.”

“No problem,” - the tired Marine assured him. “I'll take it.”

The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

“How'd you sleep?” - asked the manager.

“Never better.”

The manager was impressed.

“No problem with the other guy snoring, then?”

“Nope, I shut him up in no time” - said the Marine.

“How'd you manage that?” - asked the manager.

“He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room,” - the Marine explained. “I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful' and he sat up all night watching me.”

Custom Search