Category: Political Jokes

PIGS

President Clinton arrived back in D.C. after a trip to his home state of Arkansas. He stepped out of the plane carrying two pigs, one under each arm. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, the Marine guard sharply saluted him as usual.
Clinton said:
“I'd like to salute you back son, but as you can see my hands are full.”
The Marine replied:
“Yes Sir! Mighty fine pigs, Sir!”
President Clinton responded:
“These aren't just ordinary pigs, Marine, they are pure Arkansas Razorback Pigs!!”
The Marine replied:
“Yes Sir! Mighty fine Razorbacks Sir!”
The President then responded:
“I got this one for Hillary and this one for Chelsea.”
The Marine guard then replied:
“Yes Sir! GOOD trade, Sir!”

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Category: C'est la Vie

SHUT HIM UP

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken.

“You've got to have a room somewhere,” - he pleaded. “Or just a bed, I don't care where.”
“Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy,” - admitted the manager -”and he might be glad to split the cost, but to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you.”
“No problem,” - the tired Marine assured him. “I'll take it.”
The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
“How'd you sleep?” - asked the manager.
“Never better.”
The manager was impressed.
“No problem with the other guy snoring, then?”
“Nope, I shut him up in no time” - said the Marine.
“How'd you manage that?” - asked the manager.
“He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room,” - the Marine explained. “I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful' and he sat up all night watching me.”

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Category: C'est la Vie SHUT HIM UP

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken.

“You've got to have a room somewhere,” - he pleaded. “Or just a bed, I don't care where.”

“Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy,” - admitted the manager -”and he might be glad to split the cost, but to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you.”

“No problem,” - the tired Marine assured him. “I'll take it.”

The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

“How'd you sleep?” - asked the manager.

“Never better.”

The manager was impressed.

“No problem with the other guy snoring, then?”

“Nope, I shut him up in no time” - said the Marine.

“How'd you manage that?” - asked the manager.

“He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room,” - the Marine explained. “I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful' and he sat up all night watching me.”

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