Category: Old Age Humiliations

SPERM COUNT

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said:

“Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.”

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained:

“Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.”

The doctor was shocked! “

“You asked your neighbor?”

 The old man replied:

“Yep, none of us could get the jar open!!”

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Category: Old Age Humiliations

FAIR SAMPLE

A senior citizen went in for his yearly physical with his wife tagging along. When the doctor entered the examination room he said:
"I will need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample."
The man, being hard of hearing, turned to his wife and asked:
"What did he say?"
The wife yelled back to him:
"GIVE HIM YOUR UNDERWEAR!"

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Category: Nouveau Riche

ONLY THE BEST WILL DO

After several miscarriages, the young tycoon’s wife finally gave birth to a healthy child. The new father was very proud and immediately started looking for the best program to ensure his future heir, his business and his fortune. The first insurance company manager introduced his program called “From Womb to Tomb” and described its various features in glowing colors.

The industry mogul was impressed, but decided to shop around a little more and see what the competition had to offer. Indeed, the competing company’s manager assured him that his company’s program is a much better one, as it takes care of the insured “From Sperm to Worm”

The young magnate was still doubtful. After all it was his child, he was paying and for his money he wanted the very best insurance program available on the market. Finally, it was the third manager who clinched the deal, as his company’s program provided the absolute ultimate in insurance “From Erection to Resurrection”

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