A husband and wife were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy Sunday morning, when he said to her:"If I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff..""Now why would you want me to do something like that?" - she asked."I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don't want some asshole using my stuff."She looked at him and said:"What makes you think I'd marry another asshole?”
SWEET REVENGE
A married guy was out getting laid, when he suffered a massive heart attack and died. The undertaker called his wife as he was preparing the body, saying:
“Your late husband died with a tremendous erection that we can't get to go away. What would you like us to do?”
To which she replied:
“Cut it off and stuff it in his ass.”
When she went to view the body, she noticed a somewhat pained expression on her deceased husband's face as he lay in the casket. Bending over him, she said softly:
“Hurts, doesn't it?”
