Category: Ghost Stories FORCE OF HABIT The passenger in the taxicab wanted to light a cigarette when he noticed that he had no matches. At a traffic-light he leaned forward and tapped the driver’s shoulder: “Do you mind if I light up?’ The driver shrieked and turned around with an ashen face. The passenger was embarrassed: “Excuse me for giving you a shock. I only wanted to ask you for a light.” “It’s really not your fault sir, but I’m replacing the regular driver only temporarily. usually I drive a hearse.”

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Category: Genies, Jinns and Fairies TALL ORDER A farmer was plowing his field when his plow struck a hard object. He bent down to see what it was and saw that it was a very old looking earthen jug. His curiosity aroused, he opened the heavily sealed stopper and out came a spirit with a big whoosh, 10 meters tall, bearded, turbaned, looking for all purposes like a Turkish pasha. The genie sighed, stretched luxuriously and then folding his arms on his chest bowed to the fearful farmer and in a deep rumbling voice vocalized: “Don’t be afraid. I have been locked in this bottle for 10,000 years and am indebted to you, mortal being, for setting me free. I am yours to serve and will fulfill any wish you may have.” The farmer thought for a while and then said: “It would benefit me and my family and also the country, if I could have an oil well in my courtyard.” The genie looked embarrassed: “Take pity on me! I am only a minor spirit and out of practice at that. Cannot you wish for something easier?” The farmer deliberated again and finally replied: “I am married for 20 years to a Polish woman and I never had good sex with her. Could you grant me just one enjoyable, satisfying night with her?” The spirit was dumbfounded by this request. He scratched his head and then said: “Maybe I’ll try my hand with the oil well after all.”

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Category: Gay Liberation Front FAIRY TALE Two pillars of the gay community passed the time of day on Washington Bridge, just watching the empty beer cans bobbing up and down in the dirty water. Suddenly, one of them pointed: “Look at that ferry-boat!” His surprised companion said: “I didn’t know we have a Navy?”

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Category: From the Mouths of Babes GOOD REASON The kindhearted teacher saw Moishe’le wailing bitterly in the corridor. “Why are you crying Moishe’le?” - she asked. “The headmaster fell down the stairs.” “But that is no reason to cry. Nothing happened to him.” “Yes, but everybody saw it except for me!”

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Category: From the Mouths of Babes REPORT CARD A little girl and the mother were shopping. The girl asked her mother: “How old are you?” Mommy said: “Honey, you'll learn later on in life that women don't talk about their age.” The girl then asked: “Mommy, how much do you weigh?” Mommy said: “That's another thing women don't talk about.”. The girl, still wanting to know about her mother asked: “Mommy, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?” Mommy said: “Honey, that is a subject that hurt me very much and I don't want to talk about it now.” The little girl was frustrated. She told her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation. The girlfriend said: “All you have to do is to sneak a look at your mother's driver’s license. It's just like a report card, it tells you everything.” The little girl and her mother were shopping again. The girl said: “Mommy, I know how old you are. You are 32 years old.” Mommy was very surprised. She asked: “Sweetheart, how did you do that?” The girl shrugged and said: “I just know and I also know that you weigh 120 pounds.” The mother was flabbergasted. She asked: “Where did you learn all that???” The little girl said: “I just know that's all and I know why you and daddy got a divorce. You got an ' F ' in sex.”

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Category: For Your Kids DOUBTING THOMASES Jim’s friends knew that even though he is a good pal, ever ready to extend a helping hand to those in need, hygiene is not his forte. So, when they received invitations for the premier of a new drama, Jim was told that he could come only if he promised to wear clean socks. Opening night came around and the well-dressed crowd trooped into the theater. As the friends took their seats, an awful stench was felt. They all looked accusingly at Jim and asked: “But you promised...?” “I did change my socks,” - said the man, - “but I knew you would not believe me. So, I brought the evidence with me!” With that, he pulled a pair of dirty socks out of his pocket and raised them for all to see.

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Category: Ethnic Stories SICKLY NIGHTLIFE Bern must be one of the dullest cities in Switzerland, if not the whole of Europe. At one of the best hotels, a tourist asked the clerk at the Reception desk: “Is there any night-life in Bern?” “I am sorry, Sir,” – answered the clerk, – “but it seems that she is sick tonight.” If you enjoy my jokes, please recommend this webpage to your friends! Thanks.

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