A businessman entered the IRS offices and asked:“Could you please give me two weeks of leave? I want to take my family for a holiday.”“You must be out of your mind,” – said the clerk. “Why are you asking us for leave?”“Where else would I go? Aren’t you the ones I work for?”
SHOP TALK
An actress and an actor got married and spent their honeymoon at a fashionable summer resort. Upon their return the new husband treated his friends to a round of drinks and reported of their holiday:
“We arrived in the early afternoon and immediately, without even bothering to unpack, held two performances. Then we washed up, went to dinner, came back to our room and had two more performances. Later at night we went down to the bar, had a few whiskies on the rocks and before falling asleep, had another performance, followed immediately by a dress-rehearsal.”
One of his companions - clearly someone not familiar with the theatrical lingo - interjected:
“What is the difference between a performance and a dress-rehearsal?”
“A dress-rehearsal is the same as a performance, only nobody comes.”
JOB INTERVIEW
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young MBA fresh out of school:
“And what starting salary were you looking for?”
The candidate said:
“In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the package of benefits.”
The HR Person said:
“Well, what would you say to a package containing 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental insurance, company matching retirement fund to 50% of your salary and a company car leased every 2 years - say a red Toyota?”
The candidate sat up straight and said:
“Wow! Are you kidding?”
And the HR Person said:
“Certainly, ...but you started it.”
