Category: Male Chauvinists

TASTES VARY

An escaped convict, imprisoned for first-degree murder, had spent 25 years of his life sentence in prison. While on the run, he broke into a house and tied up a young couple that had been sleeping in the bedroom. He tied the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife on the bed. He got on the bed right over the woman and it appeared he was kissing her neck. Suddenly he got up and left the room. As soon as possible, the husband made his way across the room, his chair in tow, to his voluptuous, young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown and whispered:

“Honey, this guy hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw him kissing your neck and then he left in a hurry. Just cooperate and do anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Whatever you do don’t fight him, or make him mad. Our lives depend on it! Be strong and I love you.”

After spitting out the gag in her mouth, the wife hissed:

“Dear, I’m so relieved you feel that way. You’re right, he hasn’t seen a woman in >years, but he wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He said he thinks you’re really cute and asked if we kept the Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong and I love you, too.”

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Category: Afterlife

THE CATCH

A pair of identical twin brothers lived in a certain town. One lived a godly life, was a good husband and father, a reputable businessman and did lots of community service. The other cheated and lied, was a hell-raiser, a drunkard, unfaithful to his wife and mean to his kids. They both died at about the same time. The good twin was in Heaven and could look down on his bad twin in Hell. The place was not as he imagined. He saw his brother drinking, partying and dancing, having beautiful women, with lots of passionate kissing going on. The good twin went up to St Peter and said:

“Mind you, I'm not complaining. This place is peaceful and beautiful, but my brother down there looks like he's having the time of his life. He has his own beer keg and just look at that gorgeous woman he is kissing.”

St Peter put an arm on the man's shoulder and said:

“My son, all is not as it seems. The keg has a hole in it. The woman doesn't.”

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Category: Marital Bliss

AT THE BOOKSHOP

“Do you have the book “Household Chores for the Husband?”

“I’m sorry, we don’t stock fairy tales.”

PREPOSTEROUS SUGGESTION

A husband and wife were strolling in the park and saw a young man passionately kissing his girlfriend.

“Tell me Pa,” - asked the wife - “how about doing that too?”

“You must be joking! I don’t even know the girl.”

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Category: Marital Bliss PREPOSTEROUS SUGGESTION

A husband and wife were strolling in the park and saw a young man passionately kissing his girlfriend.

“Tell me Pa,” - asked the wife - “how about doing that too?”

“You must be joking! I don’t even know the girl.”

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