Category: Women's Lib

GIFTS

One day the Lord came to Adam and said:

“I've got some good news and some bad news”.

Adam said:

“Well, give me the good news first.”

The Lord explained:

“I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to create new things, solve problems and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will give you great physical pleasure and allow you to reproduce your species and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you have this organ to give her children.”

Adam, very excited, exclaimed:

“These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?”

The Lord looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow:

“You will never be able to use these two gifts at the same time.”

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Category: Mother-In-Law

EVERYTHING AT ITS PROPER TIME

The farmer was working in his garden when his neighbor came running:

“Come quickly, your mother-in-law has dropped dead!”

“I have to finish here first. Work comes before pleasure.” 

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Category: Marital Bliss

SEX IN THE DARK

Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights...

She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device.

A v*i*b*r*a*t*o*r!

Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.

She went completely ballistic.

"You impotent b*a*s*t*a*r*d," - she screamed at him, - "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looked her straight in the eyes and said calmly:  

"I'll explain the toy... you explain the kids".

   

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Category: Mother-in-Law EVERYTHING AT ITS PROPER TIME

The farmer was working in his garden when his neighbor came running:

“Come quickly, your mother-in-law has dropped dead!”

“I have to finish here first. Work comes before pleasure.”

UNFAIR PUNISHMENT

Lawyers among themselves:

“What is the punishment for bigamy?”

“Two mothers-in-law.”

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