Category: Marital Bliss

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

¬ Question:

“What is common between you and your husband?”

Answer:

“We married the same day.”

¬ Question:

“Why do you call your husband Henry?”

Answer:

“Because he is the eighth.”

¬ Question:

 What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

Answer:

A widow.

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Category: C'est la Vie

UNFAIR

Two widows were visiting in the lounge of the Seniors' Center.

"Well," - one said, - "Mary has just cremated her third husband."

"Yeah, that’s the way it goes," - replied the other widow. "Some of us can't find a husband, and others have husbands to burn!"

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Category: Parenting

SOUND MIND

The relatives of the rich widow assembled at the family lawyer's office for the reading of her will.

“Being of sound mind,” – read the attorney, – “I spent every last cent before I died.”

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Category: Old Age Humiliations

MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

Two elderly people lived in Trailer Estates, a Florida mobile home park, he was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. The two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her:

"Will you marry me?"

After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered:

"Yes. Yes, I will."

The meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled:

"Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?"

He couldn't remember. Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired:

"When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"

He was delighted to hear her say:

"Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart." Then she continued:

"I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me."

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Category: Male Chauvinists

CONDOLENCES

“Do you have prophylactics other than white ones?” - the customer asked the pharmacist.
“We have them in various colors.”
“Then please give me a pack of black ones, I’m going to pay my condolences to my friend’s widow.”

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Category: Old Age Humiliation

FOR THE POSTERITY

When the husband finally died, his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea.

No sooner were the papers delivered than a friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly: "You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea."

Replied the widow:

"I nursed him night and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for the posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit he always was."

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Category: Male Chauvinists CODOLENCES

“Do you have prophylactics other than white ones?” - the customer asked the pharmacist.

“We have them in various colors.”

“Then please give me a pack of black ones, I’m going to pay my condolences to my friend’s widow.”

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Category: Parenting FREE WILL On the eve of his son’s departure to study at a university abroad, the anxious father asked: “You will write often, won’t you son?” “Of course I will Dad, but from time to time you can send some money on your own volition.” SOUND MIND The relatives of the rich widow assembled at the family lawyer's office for the reading of her will. “Being of sound mind,” – read the attorney, – “I spent every last cent before I died.”

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