Category: Modern Fables

ANYTHING FOR A LITTLE PEACE

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the forest, when suddenly she saw the big, bad wolf, hiding behind the trees.

“Wolf, wolf,” - she asked, - “why are your eyes so big?”

“Leave me in peace,” - shouted the wolf - “can’t you see that I'm trying to have a shit.”

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Category: Modern Fables

THE PRICE OF FAME

Little Red Riding Hood walked through the forest until she reached her Grandma's house. She knocked on the door and her Grandmother let her in. They sat down and had some tea together. Little Red Riding Hood got suspicious that something was wrong, when someone knocked on the door. It was the hunter. They invited him in and poured him some tea.

They chatted for a while, but Little Red Riding Hood became even more suspicious and so did the hunter. After about a half an hour he exclaimed:

“I know what is wrong! The wolf is missing.”

And so off he went to search for him in the forest. Finally he found the wolf in deep sleep between the bushes. The hunter went over to him and gave him a mighty kick:

“Get up you lazy beast, you should have devoured Grandma and Little Red Riding Hood long ago.”

“Leave me alone, I’m exhausted. I danced with Kevin Costner all night long.”

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Category: Modern Fables

I KNOW WHO YOU REALLY ARE

At first I thought of entering the fable that follows below, in the “POLITICAL” category, but then I thought that the personality trait ridiculed in it, namely pretending to be someone other than yourself, is typical of all walks of life, so I put it in 'Modern Fables'.

A young German shepherd dog asked the advice of an elder colleague as to the best way to get ahead in the world. The advice of the elder dog was:

“All you have to do is to feign that you are someone else. You could pretend, for example, that you are a wolf and instantly you would be feared and respected by everybody.”

“How can I pretend being a wolf?”

“It is really very simple. The only difference between dogs and wolves is that when dogs meet, they smell each other’s behinds, whereas wolves merely rub noses. You look exactly like a wolf, so stop behaving like a dog, act like a wolf and everybody will accept that you are one.”

The young dog acted on the advice of the older dog and within a short period made a meteoric career and achieved a high position within society. A few years later, at a cocktail party, he saw from afar his mentor from the old days. He was not an ungrateful type and did not try to avoid him. He went over to the old dog and affectionately rubbed noses with him. The elder one looked him over and said:

“I see that you have come up in the world, but with me you don’t have to pretend. I know who you really are, so you can go ahead without fear and smell my ass.”

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Category: Modern Fables ANYTHING FOR A LITTLE PEACE

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the forest, when suddenly she saw the big bad wolf, hiding behind the trees.

“Wolf, wolf,” - she asked, - “why are your eyes so big?”

“Leave me in peace,” - shouted the wolf - “can’t you see that I'm trying to have a shit.”

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Category: Modern Fables WAY TO GO Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the forest, when a big, bad wolf came out from behind the trees and threatened to devour her. The poor, frightened girl begged for her life and promised to do anything he wished if he just let her go on in peace to her grandmother. The wolf had his way with her, but then tried again to devour her. Little Red Riding Hood had to promise him once again to do his bidding and once more the wolf availed himself of her. The wolf must have been very hungry, because when he was finished, he tried to devour the girl again, but this time it was she who offered to have sex with him. The wolf did his utmost and then collapsed in exhaustion. Just then a policeman passed through the forest and upon seeing what had happened, called to Little Red Riding Hood: “Well done! Three wolves in one day!”

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