The police captain angrily questioned two policemen, who the previous evening had lost track of a break-and-enter suspect.“What happened?” – he demanded.“The burglar escaped into a movie-theater.”“And why didn’t you follow him there?”“We already saw the film.”
INDEFINITELY DELAYED
Two blondes were flying to
“One of our engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don't worry, we have three engines left.”
Thirty minutes later, the Captain announced:
“One more engine has failed and the flight will take two hours longer. But don't worry, we have two engines left.”
An hour later the Captain announced:
“One more engine has failed and the flight will last three hours longer. But don't worry we have one engine left.”
One blonde looked at the other and said:
“If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day.”
It was the pretty new blonde stewardesses' first flight on that particular route. Due to its length, the crew had to stay over in another city. On arrival, the crew was driven to a hotel, had dinner and it being the end of a long day, they all retired to their rooms. The next morning, as the crew gathered in the hotel lobby for their pick-up to the airport, the captain noticed that the new stewardess was missing. He called up her room number, wondering what happened to her. In a broken voice the girl complained that she was unable to get out of her room. The captain was flabbergasted:
“Why can't you get out of your room?” – he asked.
The stewardess replied:
“There are only three doors in here,” – she sobbed, – “one is the bathroom, one is the closet and the third has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb!’”
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The passengers on the transatlantic flight had just finished their meal and were comfortably relaxed, when the loudspeakers suddenly came on:
“This is the captain speaking. I would like to advise you that we have just lost our starboard engine. However, please remain calm. We have everything under control. This aircraft can operate with three engines just as well.”
About fifteen minutes later a movie was shown in the cabin and the passengers almost forgot the previous announcement, when the captain’s voice was heard again:
“I am sorry, but we seem to have lost another engine. You have no cause to worry. The aircraft is capable of flying with two engines. However, purely as a precautionary measure, those passengers who can swim, should concentrate on the left side of the cabin and those who cannot, should move to the right side.”
Another fifteen minutes passed and the now familiar voice was heard again on the public address system:
“This is the captain once again. We have just lost our third engine and are initiating ditching procedures. All passengers are requested to don their life vests. As soon as the aircraft comes to a complete stop, the crew will open the exit doors. Please remove your shoes and follow the instructions of your crew in using the emergency escape slides. Those on the left side of the plane can commence swimming towards the shore. Those on the right side will remain floating and it is hoped, will eventually be located and rescued. In any case, should we not meet again, I want to thank you for flying with our airline.”
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