Sunday, August 05, 2012

Category: Loonies

FISHY STORY
Three variations on the same joke. Variation one:
A wife complained to her friend:
“My husband sits all day long in the bathroom tub and fishes.”
“Have you taken him to see a psychiatrist?”
“Not yet…the truth is, I’m crazy about fish.”
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Saturday, August 04, 2012

Category: Lawyers

BRIEF ONES
¬ Question:
 “How do you know, that a lawyer is lying?”
Answer:
 “His lips are moving.”
¬ Question:
 “Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?”
Answer:
 “Professional courtesy.”
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Friday, August 03, 2012

Category: Lawyers

LETTER OF THE LAW
   Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them:
"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!"
     The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged and then exchanged sandwiches.

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Thursday, August 02, 2012

Category: Lawyers

NOSCRUPLES
A Brooklyn lawyer named Ernie successfully defended a major crime lord from charges of dealing drugs, racketeering, murder, kidnapping and selling arms.
As he was leaving the courtroom, an indignant old woman grabbed him by the arm:
“Young man, where are your scruples? Isn’t there anyone too low for you to defend?”
“I don’t know,” – Ernie said. “What have you done?”
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Wednesday, August 01, 2012

Category: Indians

THOSE KIDS
A group of Indians was chatting before a teepee. A child started to fiddle with the fire. His father smacked him good-naturedly:
“How many times did I tell you not to play with the phone?!”
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Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Category: In the Middle East

YES-MEN
Complained the Middle East dictator:
“Why is it said that I am surrounded by ‘Yes-men’. When I say ‘NO’, everybody else says ‘NO’.”  
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Monday, July 30, 2012

Category: In the Middle East

ASKING IS LEARNING
On one of his journeys across the desert, the Bedouin took his young son with him, so that he would learn something of the desert lore. As they set off at dawn, the boy asked:
“Tell me Baba, why does the sun rise every day on this side and set on that side?”
The Bedouin scratched his head through his kaffiyeh* and said thoughtfully:
“I truly don’t know. I never really thought of it.”
In the evening they reached an oasis and quenched their thirst from the spring beneath the palms. The inquisitive child had another question:
“Baba, why is it, that everything is dry all around and only here water comes out of the earth?”   
“A good question, but I don’t know the answer. It was always like that, even during our ancestors’ days.”
At night, when they the lied under their blankets, the boy looked up at the star-studded sky and wondered aloud:
“Do you know Baba, what the stars are?”
“No, Son,” - replied his father, - “I really have no idea.”
At the end of their journey, the boy said to his parent:
“I hope I did not bother you too much with my questions and that you will take me again.”
“You did not bother me at all,” - replied the Bedouin, - “you should ask questions. How else would you acquire knowledge?”

* Kaffiyeh: A cloth headdress fastened by a band around the crown and usually worn by Arab men.
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