Category: Male Chauvinist UNNATURAL ACT Two men met on the street. One seemed to be in a big hurry. Asked the other one: “What is the rush, old buddy?” “I must hurry home to cook dinner.” “Is your wife sick?” “No, she’s hungry.”

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Category: Male Chauvinists BRANDED FOR LIFE A couple celebrated their 10th anniversary. The husband had a request from his wife: “You know, we have been married now for 10 years, but you never have satisfied me orally.” “Stop right there!” – exclaimed the wife. “I would never do such a disgusting thing.” 15 years passed. At their silver anniversary the husband came up with his wish again and once more was firmly rebuffed. 25 years passed. At the couple’s golden anniversary, the husband, rather timidly, mentioned his request again. This time the wife thought about it and decided, that after all they had been married for 50 years and she could try it once. So she knelt down before her husband, opened his fly and took his member into her mouth. At that moment the phone rang. The husband answered it and then passed the receiver to his wife: “It is you they want, you fellating slut!”

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Category: Loonies NUCLEAR ARSENAL On New Year’s Eve, the inmates of the loony bin put on a show. The first to appear on the stage, a heavyset, huge man, clad only in his briefs, flexed his mighty muscles and declared: “I am a hydrogen bomb!” Everybody clapped his hands. Next to come on stage was a thin, paltry fellow, stark naked, who shouted in a thin, reedy voice: “I am an atomic bomb.” Most of the audience got on its feet and in sheer panic escaped from the auditorium. A visitor managed to stop one of them and curiously inquired: “A hydrogen bomb is much mightier, than an atomic bomb. Why did you run only when the second man appeared on stage?” “Did you see how short his fuse was?” – answered the inmate and went on running.

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Category: Lawyers BIRDS OF FEATHER A man walked into a bar. He saw a good looking, smartly dressed woman perched on a bar stool. He walked up behind her and said: "Hi there good looking, how's it going?” She turned around, faced him, looked him straight in the eyes and said: "Listen, I'll screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, it doesn't matter. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college. I just flat out love it. And, always want more." He said: "No kidding? I'm a lawyer too! What firm are you with?"

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Category: Indians MATHEMATICALLY MINDED In the Mohawk tribe, three pregnant women gave birth on the same day. The one who slept on horsehide gave birth to a boy; the second who slept on buffalo hide gave birth to a girl and the third who slept on a mattress made of hippopotamus hide, had twins. The young chief, who has just majored in math, described the event as follows: “The squaw of hippopotamus is equal to the sum of squaws of the other two hides.”

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Category: In the Middle East ONE-TRACK MIND Most Israeli children never see snow. The elementary school teacher, wanting somehow to demonstrate this natural phenomenon, prepared a bag with small, white paper pellets and while explaining to her class the differences between the European and Israeli winter, threw them into the air. “Children, what does this remind you of?” - she asked. A girl raised her finger. “Yes, Miriam!” - said the teacher. “It reminds me of the day, when a pillow-case was torn and the feathers flew all over our house.” “Very good, but I thought of something slightly different.” Another girl said that the falling pellets reminded her of falling snow, as she saw in a film. “Excellent, Tamar!” - commented the teacher and wanted to continue with the lesson, when she noticed yet another raised finger. “Yes, Moishe’le. What does this remind you of?” “Of sex,” - said the child. “Sex?” - wondered the teacher. “How does that come into it?” “Everything reminds me of sex!”

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Category: Old Age Humiliations GOOD EXCUSE A 87 year old woman convinced the traffic cop not to give her a ticket for speeding, by claiming: "I was in a hurry to get there, before I forget where I'm going."

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