Category: Male Chauvinists

QUESTION AND ANSWER

¬ Question:

“Why do women marry?”

Answer:

“Because the vibrator cannot cut the grass.”

¬ Question:

“Why are condoms not manufactured in black?

Answer:

“Black makes everything look slimmer.”

¬ Question:

“How are women and rocks alike?”

Answer:

“You skip the flat ones.”

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Category: Male Chauvinists

NICE TRY

A man made a suggestion to his wife:

“Honey, what do you say that tonight we change positions?”

His wife responded with:

“Yes, I would really like that. Tonight, you stand by the ironing board and I'll lay on the couch and watch TV.”

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Category: Male Chauvinists

NO OFFENSE MEANT

“I have never encountered such impudence! I’m telling you that my wife is expecting a child and you are asking me from whom?”

“All right, take it easy. I thought you knew who the father is.”

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Category: Male Chauvinists

LOSS OF CONTROL

A man complained:

“I lost control of my car yesterday.”

“How did it happen?”

“My wife got her driver’s license.” 

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Category: Male Chauvinists

A GOOD IDEA

Asked St. Peter of God:

“Almighty Creator, what is your opinion with regards to smart women?”

“Smart women? Hmmm, not a bad idea.”

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Category: Loonies

THE EGG AND THE CHICKEN
Three variations on the same joke. Variation three:

Psychiatrist: “What is wrong with your brother?”

Sister: “He thinks he’s a chicken.”

Psychiatrist: “How long has be been acting like a chicken?”

Sister: “For three years. We would have come in sooner, but we needed the eggs.”

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Category: Loonies

LIGHTING FIXTURE

Three variations on the same joke. Variation two:

“Doctor, my husband has a fixed idea that he is a lamp.”

“That is really a harmless eccentricity.”

‘Yes, but I cannot sleep when the light is on.” 

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