Category: Lawyers LETTER OF THE LAW

Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them:

"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!" The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged and then exchanged sandwiches.

Throw Back Guy: Professional jerseys from NFL, NHL, NBA, & MLB teams. Buy jerseys at cheap clearance prices. Get up to 40% off retail jersey prices. http://www.throwbackguy.com

Custom Search

Category: In the Middle East THE CRUCIFIXION

A group of Israelis took a guided tour through “classic” Europe - England, France, the Benelux countries and Italy. They were in luck and had an excellent guide, who spared no effort in showing them every sight worth seeing, performing his job with such enthusiasm, as though it was the first time he was visiting these places.

At the end of the tour, the bus brought them to Fiumicino Airport, where their plane waited. While the members of the group got out of the bus, the guide stood near the door, with a big smile on his face and somehow radiating expectation. The tourists were generous in their praise, each of them stopped by him, shook his hand and warmly thanked him for his efforts. The guide appreciated the gratitude, but somehow expected a little more than that. The smile slowly froze on his lips.

“Maybe the habit of tipping is unknown in Israel,” - he thought, as he shook another outstretched hand. “Maybe I should have somehow mentioned the fact that our salaries are small and we rely on the tourists’ gratuities to complement it.”

Only one Israeli was left in the bus. He too approached the frustrated guide with an outstretched hand, but all of a sudden - as though he only now remembered it - reached into his pocket and took out a thick envelope.

“We wanted to show you our appreciation of your outstanding performance, so we all pitched in and collected a tidy sum for you. Thank you for a job well done.”

This was a little too much for the guide and he burst out:

“I don’t know, whether or not you really crucified Jesus Christ, but you sure made him sweat!”

Throw Back Guy: Professional jerseys from NFL, NHL, NBA, & MLB teams. Buy jerseys at cheap clearance prices. Get up to 40% off retail jersey prices. http://www.throwbackguy.com

Custom Search

Category: Genies, Jinns & Fairies REGRETS

An old lady was rocking in her rocking chair when a fairy godmother appeared in front of her and informed her that she will be granted three wishes.

“Well, now,” - said the old lady, - “I guess I would like to be really rich.”

*POOF* —her rocking chair turned to solid gold.

“And, gee, I guess I wouldn’t mind being a young, beautiful princess.”

*POOF* —she turned into a beautiful young woman.

“Your third wish?” - asked the fairy godmother.

Just then the old woman’s cat wandered across the porch in front of them.

“Ooh—can you change him into a handsome prince?” - she asked.

*POOF* —there before her stood a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine. She stared at him, smitten. With a smile that made her knees weak, he sauntered across the porch and whispered in her ear:

“Bet you’re sorry you had me neutered.”

Throw Back Guy: Professional jerseys from NFL, NHL, NBA, & MLB teams. Buy jerseys at cheap clearance prices. Get up to 40% off retail jersey prices. http://www.throwbackguy.com

Custom Search

Category: Gay Liberation Front IDENTITY PROBLEM

An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked:

"Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied:

"Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."

She said:

"I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women."

The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked:

"Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied:

"I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."

Throw Back Guy: Professional jerseys from NFL, NHL, NBA, & MLB teams. Buy jerseys at cheap clearance prices. Get up to 40% off retail jersey prices. http://www.throwbackguy.com

Custom Search

Category: From The Mouths Of Babes THE NATURE OF GOD

A nine-year old boy went up to his mother and asked:

“Is God male or female?”

After thinking a moment, his mother responded:

“Well, God is both male and female.”

This confused the little boy, so he asked:

“Is God black or white?”

“Well, God is both black and white.”

This confused the boy even more, so he asked:

“Is God gay or straight?”

Now it was the mother who was getting concerned, but she answered anyway:

“Honey, God is both gay and straight.”

At this, the boy's face lighted up with understanding and he triumphantly asked:

“Is God Michael Jackson?”

Throw Back Guy: Professional jerseys from NFL, NHL, NBA, & MLB teams. Buy jerseys at cheap clearance prices. Get up to 40% off retail jersey prices. http://www.throwbackguy.com

Custom Search

Category: From The Mouths Of Babes PEEPING TOMS

The teacher was a pretty young thing and the adolescents in her class showed great interest in her hidden charms. One day, she was giving an assignment to her class. It was a large assignment, so she started writing high up on the blackboard. Suddenly, one of the boys sniggered loudly. She quickly turned and saw that it was a boy in the third row.

“What's so funny Pat?” - demanded the teacher.

“I just saw one of your garters, teacher” - answered the boy.

“Get out of my classroom,” - she yelled. “I don't want to see you for three days.”

The teacher went back to writing the assignment. Realizing she had forgotten to title it, she reached to the very top of the blackboard. Suddenly there was an even louder giggle from another student. Again she turned and asked:

“What's so funny Billy?”

“Well miss, I just saw both of your garters.”

Again she yelled:

“Get out!” This time the punishment was even more severe. “I don't want to see you for a week.”

Embarrassed and frustrated, when she returned to finishing the assignment, she dropped the eraser. As she bent over to pick it up, she saw, that Moishe’le, who sat in the first row, stood up, collected his things and started to leave the class.

“And where do you think you are going?” - asked the teacher.

“Well teacher, from what I just saw,” - answered Moishe’le - “ my school days are probably over.”

Throw Back Guy: Professional jerseys from NFL, NHL, NBA, & MLB teams. Buy jerseys at cheap clearance prices. Get up to 40% off retail jersey prices. http://www.throwbackguy.com

Custom Search

Category: For Your Kids POLITE GUYS

“Hello, is this 2566-342?”

“No, it is 2565-342.”

“Sorry, wrong number.”

‘Never mind, the phone was ringing anyway.”

Throw Back Guy: Professional jerseys from NFL, NHL, NBA, & MLB teams. Buy jerseys at cheap clearance prices. Get up to 40% off retail jersey prices. http://www.throwbackguy.com

Custom Search