The
day finally arrived. Forrest
Gump died and went to
Heaven. He was at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter
himself. However, the gates were closed and Forrest
approached the gatekeeper. St.
Peter said:
“Well,
Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We
have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is
filling up fast and we have been administering an entrance examination for
everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get
into Heaven.”
Forrest
responded:
“It
sure is good to be here, St.
Peter, sir.. But nobody ever
told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life
was a big enough test as it was.”
St. Peter continued:
“Yes,
I know, Forrest, but the test is only three
questions.
First:
What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second:
How many seconds are there in a year?
Third:
What is God's first name?”
Forrest
left to think the questions over. He returned the next day and saw St. Peter,
who waved him up and said:
“Now
that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.”
Forrest
replied:
“Well,
the first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'? Shucks,
that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow.”
The
Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed:
“Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a
point and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that
answer. How about the next one?”- asked St. Peter. “How
many seconds in a year?”
“Now
that one is harder,” replied Forrest, 'but I thunk
and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve.”
Astounded,
St. Peter
said:
“Twelve?
Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could
you come up with twelve seconds in a year?'
Forrest
replied:
“Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd,
February 2nd, March 2nd...”'
“Hold
it,” - interrupted St. Peter. “I see where you are going with
this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind....but
I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the
third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name?”
“Sure,”
Forrest replied, - “it's Andy.”
“Andy?” - exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter. “Ok, I can
understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but
just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy
as the first name of God?”
“Shucks,
that was the easiest one of all,”- Forrest replied.
“I learnt it from the song, ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS
ME I AM HIS OWN.”
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said:
“Run,
Forrest, run.”
