Category: Ethnic Stories

IRISH STEW

Paddy happened to be passing a shoe shop in Dublin one day and in the window he spotted a pair of shoes. He liked them, so he entered the shop and asked the shop assistant:

“How much are dem shoes in de window, fella?”

“Those are 500 pounds, sir,” - replied the assistant.

“Begorrah!” - exclaimed Paddy, - “dats an awful lot for a pair of shoes.”

“Well, sir, they are crocodile shoes, very rare,” - said the assistant.

Paddy certainly couldn't afford 500 pounds for a pair of shoes, so he left the shop and went home. He told his brother Mick about the shoes and Mick had a brilliant idea:

“Sure, Paddy and we should go to Africa and hunt crocodiles and we'd make ourselves a fortune, sure enough!”

Paddy was very impressed with this idea, so off they both went to Africa and hired a guide to show them the most crocodile-infested river. They made camp and Mick said to Paddy:

“Tell you what, Paddy, you start hunting the crocodiles, I'll go back to town to find us a truck.”

So off Mick went back to town with the guide, leaving Paddy to get on with the tricky task of hunting the crocodiles. A couple of weeks later, Mick had pretty much drained the town of all available bottles of Guinness and was running low on cash, so he decided to go back to the camp and see how his brother Paddy was getting on. As he pulled into the camp in the truck, he saw crocodiles everywhere, stacked in huge piles by the hut, stacked along the riverbank, hundreds and hundreds of crocodiles. He jumped out of the truck and went in search of Paddy and just then there was a commotion in the river, loads of splashing and Paddy came to the surface clinging onto a huge crocodile, which he wrestled to the shore, then clubbed to death.

“How's it going, there, Paddy?” - asked Mick.

“Terrible,” - replied Paddy, - “in fact I've caught about a tousand of dese tings and I've still not found one of dem wearing shoes!”

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