Category: Ecumenical Stories

HEAVEN

A woman died and went to heaven. While waiting in line, she heard this terrible screaming and moaning. This disturbed her somewhat, so she tracked down St. Peter to find out what is going on.
"Oh that" – he said, – "that's just the woman in front of you. They are drilling holes in her back to attach her wings."
The woman was still a bit upset by this and was pondering her position when the screaming started again. This time it was louder and more blood curdling than before. She called St. Peter again to find out what is happening to the woman now.
"Oh that" – he said, – "they're just drilling holes in her head to attach the halo."
The woman decided that she wants out and told St. Peter that she has changed her mind and wants to be sent to hell.
"Are you sure you want to go there?" – he said. "It's a terrible place, you'll end up getting sodomized and raped and even worse."
"That's okay" – said the woman. "I already have the holes for that."

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