Category: Political Jokes

BLESS YOU

Another Soviet era joke:

It was a cold day and one of the passengers on the crowded train to Moscow sneezed. The man seated in the corner, whose leather-coat and short boots gave him away as belonging to the security-police, raised his head from his “Pravda” newspaper and in a loud and booming voice asked:

“Which of you comrades sneezed?”
All conversation ceased and everyone held their breath, waiting for the culprit to identify himself. When nobody answered, the KGB man repeated his query:
“I am asking again, who sneezed?’
A pale, thin fellow at the back of the crowd raised his hand hesitatingly:
“I did. I have a bad cold.”
“Gesundheit, tovarisch!” - said the KGB man and returned to his paper.

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Category: Political Jokes

GOOD OLD PAYOLA

In the old USSR two American tourists met in the lobby of the luxurious “Moscow” Hotel.

“How was your tour?” - asked one.
“Absolutely ghastly,” - replied the other. “Last night, we went to the ‘Bolshoi Ballet’, but my seat was at the end of the last row and I hardly saw anything. I heard about the terrific fur bargains at the ‘Gum’ Department Store, but when I got there this morning they told me they had so many tourists this week, that they are completely out of furs. Then we went to the Lenin mausoleum, but after forty-five minutes of waiting in line in freezing weather, I just gave up and returned to the hotel. And how did you enjoy your tour?”
“Oh, it was absolutely fabulous!” - said the first tourist. “You would not believe what a little grease gets you around these parts. For a few bills one of the bellboys got me a ticket to the first row of the ‘Bolshoi’. I also went to the ‘Gum’, gave one of the salesmen five bucks and I had my pick of any of dozen magnificent furs, for half the price it would have cost me back home. When I got to the mausoleum and saw the long lines, I gave three bucks to each of the fours guards at the entrance and they brought Lenin out to me.”

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