Category: Boys and Girls

FOUR LETTER WORDS

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked:

“How was the honeymoon?”

“Oh, Mama,” - she replied, - “the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic...”

Suddenly she burst out crying:

“But mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language I’d ever heard before. I mean, all these awful four letter words! You’ve got to come get me and take me home. Please mama!”

“Sarah, Sarah,” - her mother said - “calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What four letter words?”

“Please don’t make me tell you, mama,” - wept the daughter. “I’m so embarrassed, they’re just too awful! Come and get me please!”

“Darling baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible four letter words!”

Still sobbing, the bride said:

“Oh mama, words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK...!”

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Category: Ethnic Stories

SINNING

Patrick Callaghan was in Ballydinkum and met by chance Rosemary O'Brien. Rosemary was a pretty lady whose husband Mick had died two years before. Now she lived with her mum and dad on a farm just outside Ballydinkum and had a 15 year old daughter.

Patrick was very pleased to see her - he had known her when they were teenagers - and asked her to the Inn for a coffee. He returned to Ballydinkum several times to see Rosemary and eventually persuaded her to go with him on a picnic to a little lake not far from Ballydinkum - a lovely secluded place. (He borrowed McCafferty's van for the occasion).

It was a romantic setting and although Patrick's advances were initially gently resisted, eventually they made love beside the lake. Later, Rosemary was quietly weeping:

"I don't know how I'm going to face my daughter Patty tonight, Patrick" - she said - "after I've sinned twice this afternoon".

"We only did it once Rosemary" - Patrick replied.

And Rosemary gave a happy little sigh and said:

 "Well, we ARE going to do it again, aren't we?"  

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Category: Doctors and Patients

EMERGENCY

The veterinarian had an exhausting day, but when he finally got home from tending to all those sick animals, his wife received him with a cool drink and a romantic, candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went to bed. At about 3:00 o’clock in the morning, the phone rang.
“Is this the vet?” – asked an elderly lady's voice.
“Yes, it is”, – replied the vet, “Is it an emergency?”
“Well, sort of”, – said the lady, – “some cats on my roof are making a terrible noise mating and I can't sleep. What can I do about it?”
There was a half-minute pause, after which the vet patiently replied:
“Open the window and tell them that they have a phone call.”
“And will that stop them?” – asked the elderly lady?”
“It should,” – said the vet. “IT STOPPED ME!”

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