Category: Doctors and Patients

HEADACHES

The doctor said:

"Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought:

"That's what I need - a new suit."

He entered the shop and told the salesman:

"I'd like a new suit."

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said:

"Let's see... size 44 long."

Joe laughed:

"That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!"

Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked:

"How about a new shirt?"

Joe thought for a moment and then said:

"Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe and said:

"Let's see, 34 sleeve and 16-1/2 neck."

Joe was surprised:

"That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!"

Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked:

"How about new shoes?"

Joe was on a roll and said:

"Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said:

"Let's see...9-1/2 E."

Joe was astonished:

"That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!"

Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked:

"How about some new underwear?"

Joe thought for a second and said:

"Sure."

The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said:

"Let's see...size 36."

Joe laughed:

"Ah ha, got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head:

"You can't wear a size 34. A 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

ALWAYS get a second opinion...

Custom Search

Category: Doctors and Patients

SURGEONS

Five surgeons were taking a coffee break. The first said:
“Accountants are the best to operate on, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”
The second surgeon said:
“Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”
The third responded:
“Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded.”
The fourth interceded:
“I like mechanics... they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end.”
To which the fifth surgeon, who has been quietly listening to the conversation, said:
“You’re all wrong. Lawyers are the easiest. There are no guts, no heart, no spine and their head and arse are interchangeable.”

Custom Search

Category: Doctors and Patients SURGEONS

Five surgeons were taking a coffee break. The first said:

“Accountants are the best to operate on, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”

The second surgeon said:

“Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”

The third responded:

“Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded.”

The fourth interceded:

“I like mechanics... they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end.”

To which the fifth surgeon, who has been quietly listening to the conversation, said:

“You’re all wrong. Lawyers are the easiest. There are no guts, no heart, no spine and their head and arse are interchangeable.”

Throw Back Guy: Professional jerseys from NFL, NHL, NBA, & MLB teams. Buy jerseys at cheap clearance prices. Get up to 40% off retail jersey prices. http://www.throwbackguy.com

Custom Search