Category: Loonies

THE EGG AND THE CHICKEN
Three variations on the same joke. Variation three:

Psychiatrist: “What is wrong with your brother?”

Sister: “He thinks he’s a chicken.”

Psychiatrist: “How long has be been acting like a chicken?”

Sister: “For three years. We would have come in sooner, but we needed the eggs.”

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Category: Loonies

LIGHTING FIXTURE

Three variations on the same joke. Variation two:

“Doctor, my husband has a fixed idea that he is a lamp.”

“That is really a harmless eccentricity.”

‘Yes, but I cannot sleep when the light is on.” 

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Category: Loonies

FISHY STORY

Three variations on the same joke. Variation one:

A wife complained to her friend:

“My husband sits all day long in the bathroom tub and fishes.”

“Have you taken him to see a psychiatrist?”

“Not yet…the truth is, I’m crazy about fish.”

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Category: Lawyers

BRIEF ONES

¬ Question:

 “How do you know, that a lawyer is lying?”

Answer:

 “His lips are moving.”

¬ Question:

 “Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?”

Answer:

 “Professional courtesy.”

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Category: Lawyers

LETTER OF THE LAW

   Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them:

"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!"
     The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged and then exchanged sandwiches.

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Category: Lawyers

NOSCRUPLES

A Brooklyn lawyer named Ernie successfully defended a major crime lord from charges of dealing drugs, racketeering, murder, kidnapping and selling arms.

As he was leaving the courtroom, an indignant old woman grabbed him by the arm:

“Young man, where are your scruples? Isn’t there anyone too low for you to defend?”

“I don’t know,” – Ernie said. “What have you done?”

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Category: Indians

THOSE KIDS

A group of Indians was chatting before a teepee. A child started to fiddle with the fire. His father smacked him good-naturedly:

“How many times did I tell you not to play with the phone?!”

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