ORTHODOX WEDDING
A modern Orthodox couple, preparing for a religious wedding, met with their rabbi for their final session. The rabbi asked if they had any last questions. The man asked:
“Rabbi, is it true that men and women don't dance together?”
“Yes,” - said the rabbi. “For modesty reasons, men and women always dance separately.”
“So at our wedding, I can't dance with my own wife?”
“Absolutely not. It’s immodest.”
“Well, okay,” - said the man, - “but what about sex?”
“Fine,” - said the rabbi. “It is a mitzvah*, a good thing within the marriage to have children!”
“What about different positions?” - the man asked.
“No problem,” - said the rabbi. “It's a mitzvah!”
“Woman on top?” - the man asked.
“Sure,” - replied the rabbi – “go for it. Sex in a marriage is a mitzvah!”
“Without clothes?”
“Of course! It's a mitzvah!”
“Doggy style?"
"Why not? Another mitzvah!"
“Even on the table?”
“Yes, yes! It's a mitzvah!”
"Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, a leather harness, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"
"You may indeed. It's all a mitzvah!"
“Well, what about standing up?”
“OH, NO! NO!” said the rabbi.
“Why not???” asked the man.
“Could lead to dancing!”
* Mitzvah: A worthy deed, conforming to Jewish religious law.
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