Category: Ethnic Stories

WHAT'S IN A NAME

Harry Abramovitz wanted to join the Greenvale Country Club, a club known never to have had a Jewish member. This deterred Harry not at all. First, he went to court and had his name changed from Harry Moses Abramovitz to Howard Trevelyan Frobisher. Then he flew to a plastic surgeon in Switzerland, who transformed his Semitic profile into a Nordic one. Then he hired a tutor from England to change his Hester Street (New York Jewish) accent to the mellifluous modality of Regent Street. Then Harry worked his way into the graces of several members of the Country Club. Two years after launching upon his project, Howard Frobisher, nee Harry Abramovitz, appeared before the membership committee. The chairman said:

“Please state your name.”
In plumy Oxonian accents, Harry said:
“Howard Trevelyan Frobisher.”
“And where were you educated, Mr. Frobisher?”
“The usual places: Eton...Oxford...”
The chairman beamed.
“And what is your religious affiliation?”
“Goy*.”

* Hebrew, one who is not Jewish, non-Jew.

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