Category: Ethnic Stories
APPROPRIATE RESPONSE

The British in relation to recent bombings have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved'. Security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Meanwhile, the French government has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Neighbor, Italy has increased its alert level from "shout loudly and excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".

The Germans also increased their alert level from "disdainful arrogance" to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". Two higher levels remain: "invade Poland" and "lose".

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