Category: Genies, Jinns and Fairies

JEWISH GENIE

An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It got so bad that his camel died of thirst. He was crawling through the sands, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden he saw a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawled to the object, pulled it out of the sand and discovered that it was a Manischevitz wine bottle. It appeared that there may be a drop or two left in the bottle, so he unscrewed the top and out popped a genie. But this was no ordinary genie. This genie appeared to be a Chasidic rabbi, complete with black capote coat, black hat, side curls, etc. 

“Well, kid,” - said the genie. “You know how it works. You have three wishes.”

“I’m not going to trust you,” said the Arab. “I’m not going to trust a Jewish genie!”

“What do you have to lose? It looks like you’re a goner anyway!”

The Arab thought about this for a minute and decided that the genie was right.

 “OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plentiful food and drink.”

*POOF* The Arab found himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen. He was surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

“OK, kid, what’s your second wish?”

“My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams.”

*POOF* The Arab found himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems. 

“OK, kid, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!”

After thinking for a few minutes, the Arab said:

“I wish I were white and surrounded by beautiful women.”

*POOF* The Arab was turned into a Tampax.

The moral of the story is: 

If you do business with a Jewish genie, there’s going to be a string attached.

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Category: Airline Stories

CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT

On the new Boeing aircraft great emphasis was given to passenger comfort. One of the interesting innovations was, that there were separate washrooms for ladies and gentlemen. During the airplane’s maiden flight, one of the passengers had a serious problem. He had made several attempts to get into the male lavatories, but found them to be occupied. A stewardess noticed that he was walking funny, taking small steps and had pain and anxiety written all over his face. The girl took pity on the visibly suffering passenger and though expressly forbidden to do so, let him use one of the female washrooms. She warned him not to touch any of the buttons on the wall installed for the ladies’ convenience. The man was about to pop and would have promised anything, just to get into one of these small cubicles.

The relief was pure joy and as he sat there, savoring the feeling, he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Three white buttons were identified by the letters: “WW”, “WA”, and “PP” and there was one red button labeled “ATR”. Who would really know if he touched them? He couldn't just sit there and resist a challenge like this, so he pushed the “WW” button. Warm Water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. A good feeling came over him. The male lavatory didn't have nice things like this. Anticipating even greater pleasure, he pressed the “WA” button. Warm Air replaced the warm water, wafted and swirled about, gently drying his underside.

He knew what he was going to do when the warm air stopped and without hesitation pressed the “PP” button. A large Powder Puff caressed his bottom, adding a fragrant scent of spring flowers to his unbelievable pleasure. The ladies’ toilet was far more than a restroom; it was a place of tender loving pleasure. He could hardly wait for the powder puff to quit. When it did, he pushed what he knew was going to be the ultimate joy!

He pressed the button and came to in the hospital. He did not remember a thing, but saw that he was bandaged around his midriff. The nurse staring down at him with a smirk on her face would not answer his questions and all the doctor was ready to tell him was that he was no longer a man. Only when a remorseful airline executive showed up with a huge bouquet of flowers, did he learn of the reason for his debilitating injury.

“Would somebody tell me what happened? The last thing I remember, I was in the ladies lavatory!!!” - asked the man furiously.

“You pushed one too many button,” - replied the embarrassed executive. “That last button marked “ATR” is an Automatic Tampax Remover. Your penis is under your pillow.”

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Category: Genies, Jinns and Fairies JEWISH GENIE An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It got so bad that his camel died of thirst. He was crawling through the sands, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden he saw a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawled to the object, pulled it out of the sand and discovered that it was a Manischevitz wine bottle. It appeared that there may be a drop or two left in the bottle, so he unscrewed the top and out popped a genie. But this was no ordinary genie. This genie appeared to be a Chasidic rabbi, complete with black capote coat, black hat, side curls, etc. “Well, kid,” - said the genie. “You know how it works. You have three wishes.” “I’m not going to trust you,” said the Arab. “I’m not going to trust a Jewish genie!” “What do you have to lose? It looks like you’re a goner anyway!” The Arab thought about this for a minute and decided that the genie was right. “OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plentiful food and drink.” *POOF* The Arab found himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen. He was surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies. “OK, kid, what’s your second wish?” “My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams.” *POOF* The Arab found himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems. “OK, kid, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!” After thinking for a few minutes, the Arab said: “I wish I were white and surrounded by beautiful women.” *POOF* The Arab was turned into a Tampax. The moral of the story is: If you do business with a Jewish genie, there’s going to be a string attached.

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