Category: Animal World

CAT

 A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of it one day by driving it 20 blocks from his home and leaving it at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!

He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.

Hours later the man called home to his wife:

"Jen, is the cat there?"

"Yes “, - the wife answered, - "why do you ask?"

Frustrated, the man answered:

"Put that son of a ***** on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!!

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Category: Ecumenical Stories

HATE

Shlomo Birnbaum was crossing the street in Miami when he was hit by a bus and knocked unconscious. A Catholic Priest arrived about the same time the paramedics got there. Not knowing his religion, the Priest administered the last rites. Shlomo started to flutter his eyes and soon he was fully awake. The Priest told him about the last rites. Shlomo said:

"Well, I am Jewish but what you did couldn't hurt."
He couldn't wait to get home to tell his family about his experience. When he got there he said to his wife:
"Sadie, you won't believe what happened to your husband today."
She said:
"I don't have time. I am late for a Hadassah meeting. Your T.V. dinner is in the oven. See you later."
Shlomo then went to his daughter's room and said:
"Darling, you should hear what happened to your father today."
She said, "Daddy, I am on the phone with a friend planning a wedding shower. Please close the door."
Shlomo then went to look for his son.
"Son, let me tell you what happened today."
The son said:
"Dad, I am late for a date. I need the car and $100."
So Shlomo went into the other room, shook his head and thought:
"Here I am, a gentile for only two hours and already I hate three Jews."

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