Category: Marital Bliss

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

¬ Question:

“What is common between you and your husband?”

Answer:

“We married the same day.”

¬ Question:

“Why do you call your husband Henry?”

Answer:

“Because he is the eighth.”

¬ Question:

 What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

Answer:

A widow.

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Category: Marital Bliss

NEW EMPLOYEE

The child was a typical four-year-old girl – cute, inquisitive and bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.

“Now do you understand?” – he asked.

“I think so.” – she said. “That is when mommy came to work for us.”

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Category: Marital Bliss THE SECRET

“What is the secret of a good marriage?”

“My wife and I agreed that we’ll dine twice weekly at some quiet little place. Candlelight, soft music, a few turns on the dance-floor… She is goes every Wednesday, I go every Friday.”

FAIR PLAY

“Daddy, why is it that the bride and the groom kiss each other after their wedding ceremony?”

“It is like boxers who shake hands before the start of a fight.”

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Category: Ecumenical Stories

MODERN TIMES

Two priests discussed the wickedness of the young generation:

“I did not sleep with my wife before our marriage?” – said one. “How about you?”

“I don’t know. What was her maiden name?”

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Category: Simpletons (DON'T) CHERCHEZ LA FEMME

Two construction workers shared a shady corner during their lunch-break. One of them opened his lunch pail, checked the top sandwich and uttered with disgust:

“Damn, peanut butter again!”

Chucking the offensive food into the nearby wastebasket, he opened his second sandwich, found that it contained tuna and started munching away contentedly. His mate watched with amazement. When his lunch companion threw away his second peanut-butter sandwich, he could no longer restrain himself and burst out:

“Tell me, how long have you been married?”

“20 years,” - answered his finicky colleague.

“And after so many years,” - continued his lunch companion - “your wife still doesn’t know that you hate peanut butter?”

“Leave my wife out of it! I prepared those sandwiches myself.”

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Category: Old Age Humiliations RECURRENCE

An 85-year-old man married a lovely 25-year-old woman. Because her new husband was so old, the woman decided that on their wedding night they should have separate suites. She was concerned that the old fellow would overexert himself. After the festivities she prepared herself for bed and for the knock on the door she expected. Sure enough the knock came and there was her groom ready for action. They united in conjugal union and all went well whereupon he took his leave of her and she prepared to go to sleep for the night.

After a few minutes there was a knock on the door and there was old guy again ready for more action. Somewhat surprised, she consented to further coupling, which was again successful, after which the octogenarian bid her a fond good night and left.

She was certainly ready for slumber at this point and was close to sleep for the second time when there was another knock at the door and there he was again fresh as a 25-year-old and ready for more. Once again they did the horizontal boogie. As they were lying in afterglow the young bride said to him:

“I am really impressed that a guy your age has enough juice to go for it three times. I’ve been with guys less than half your age who were only good for one.”

The old guy looked puzzled, turned to her and said: “Was I already here?”

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Category: Marital Bliss THE SECRET

“What is the secret of a good marriage?”

“My wife and I agreed that we’ll dine twice weekly at some quiet little place. Candlelight, soft music, a few turns on the dance-floor… She is goes every Wednesday, I go every Friday.”

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Category: Ecumenical Stories MODERN TIMES

Two priests discussed the wickedness of the young generation:

“I did not sleep with my wife before our marriage?” – said one. “How about you?”

“I don’t know. What was her maiden name?”

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