Category: Preposterous Stories
BRAGGER
BRAGGER
Goldberg was bragging to his boss one day:
"You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone and I know him."
Tired of Goldberg’s boasting, the boss called his bluff:
"OK, how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends and I can prove it."
So Goldberg and his boss flew out to Hollywood, knocked on Tom Cruise's door and sure enough Tom Cruise shouted:
"Goldberg! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Goldberg's boss was still skeptical. After they left Cruise's house, he told Goldberg that he thought Goldberg's knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," – Goldberg said.
"President Bush," – his boss quickly retorted.
"Yes," – Goldberg said, – "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they went. At the White House, Bush spotted Goldberg on the tour and motioned him and his boss over, saying:
"Goldberg, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in.
Let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss was very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they left the White House grounds, he expressed his doubts to Goldberg, who again implored him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," – his boss replied.
"Sure!" – said Goldberg. "I've known the Pope for a long time."
So off they flew to Rome. Goldberg and his boss were assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Goldberg said:
"This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."
And he disappeared into the crowd, headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Goldberg emerged with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time he returned, he found that his boss has had a heart attack and was surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss's side,
Goldberg asked him:
"What happened?"
His boss looked up and said:
"I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the Japanese tourist next to me asked: ‘”Who's that on the balcony with Goldberg?’"
"You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone and I know him."
Tired of Goldberg’s boasting, the boss called his bluff:
"OK, how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends and I can prove it."
So Goldberg and his boss flew out to Hollywood, knocked on Tom Cruise's door and sure enough Tom Cruise shouted:
"Goldberg! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Goldberg's boss was still skeptical. After they left Cruise's house, he told Goldberg that he thought Goldberg's knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," – Goldberg said.
"President Bush," – his boss quickly retorted.
"Yes," – Goldberg said, – "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they went. At the White House, Bush spotted Goldberg on the tour and motioned him and his boss over, saying:
"Goldberg, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in.
Let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss was very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they left the White House grounds, he expressed his doubts to Goldberg, who again implored him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," – his boss replied.
"Sure!" – said Goldberg. "I've known the Pope for a long time."
So off they flew to Rome. Goldberg and his boss were assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Goldberg said:
"This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."
And he disappeared into the crowd, headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Goldberg emerged with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time he returned, he found that his boss has had a heart attack and was surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss's side,
Goldberg asked him:
"What happened?"
His boss looked up and said:
"I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the Japanese tourist next to me asked: ‘”Who's that on the balcony with Goldberg?’"
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