Showing posts with label banana. Show all posts
Showing posts with label banana. Show all posts

Sunday, July 08, 2012

Category: Doctors and Patients

PERCEPTIVE DIAGNOSTICIAN
A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older gent suggested the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to a new doctor. At the first house a woman complained:
"I've been a little sick to my stomach."
The older doctor said:
"Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?"
As they left the younger man said:
"You didn't even examine that woman. How'd you come to your diagnosis so quickly?"
"I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed half a dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what was probably making her sick,"
"Huh," - the younger doctor said, - "pretty clever. I think I'll try that at the next house."
Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with an elderly woman. She complained that she just didn't have the energy she once did.
"I'm feeling terribly run down lately,"
"You've probably been doing too much work for the church," - the younger doctor told her. “Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps,"
As they left, the elder doc said:
"Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it?"
"Well, just like you at the last house, I dropped my stethoscope. When I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the preacher under the bed."
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Friday, February 03, 2012

Category: Ethnic Stories
COMPOSITION
An Englishman, an American and an Indian participated in an English composition course. The task each received from the teacher is to write a short story using the words ‘green, pink and yellow’.
The next day the American read his story before the class:
“Yesterday I drove my pink Cadillac to a green football field and ate a yellow banana.”
The Englishman’s story went like that:
“Yesterday I had green tea in a yellow cup and ate a pink cake.”
The last was the Indian to recite his composition:
“Yesterday I came home and heard the phone green green so I pinked it up and said yellow.” 
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Sunday, March 27, 2011

Category: Naughty Jokes

TELLING GESTURE

The Madam of an exclusive brothel in Paris went to the marketplace to do her weekly shopping. First, she went to the greengrocer’s, chose some tomatoes, a few onions, took a bag of peeled potatoes, looked at the beautifully polished apples and then, picking up a banana, asked the greengrocer:

“How much are these bananas?”

“For you Madam, 15 francs,” - was the answer.

The good lady was surprised:

“How on Earth did you know, that I am a Madam.”

“From the way you hold the banana!”

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Friday, July 02, 2010

Category: Mothers

MONKEYING AROUND

The mother took her son to the Zoo. As they approached the primate cages, she noticed with horror that a pair of gorillas were in the middle of steamy intercourse. Horrified of the bad influence this sight might have on her son, she tried to drag him away, but the child was adamant. He wanted to see the monkeys. As a last recourse, the mother grabbed the sleeve of the nearby attendant and urgently whispered into his ear:

“Do you think that if I gave them a banana each, they would stop?”

Bemused, the attendant looked her over and asked:

“Would you, Madam?”

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