Category: Marital Bliss

SPICING UP THE SEX LIFE

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotch less panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband. At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs ... enough times till her husband says:

"Are you wearing crotch less panties?"

"Y-e-s," - she answers with a seductive smile.

"Thank God for that... I thought you were sitting on the cat”. 

He never heard the gunshot.

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Category: Doctors and Patients

THE ENVIROMENTALIST

A woman from Los Angeles, who was a tree hugger and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters.

The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go into the examining room and he would see of he could help her. She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded:

"What took you so long?"

He smiled and than told her:

"Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area.”

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Category: Naughty Jokes

100 MILES AN HOUR

A young couple was out carousing one evening. While driving down the highway the guy said to the girl:

“If I go 100 miles an hour, will you take off your clothes?”

She agreed and he began to speed up. When the speedometer hit 100 she started to strip. When she got all her clothes off, he was so busy staring at her that he drove off the road and flipped the car. The girl was thrown clear without a scratch, but her clothes and her boyfriend were trapped in the car.

“Go get help,” – he pleaded.

She replied:

“I can't, I'm naked.”

He pointed to his shoe that was thrown clear and said:

“Cover your snatch with that and go get help.”

She took the shoe, covered herself, and ran to the gas station down the road. When she arrived she was frantic and yelled to the attendant:

“HELP! HELP! My boyfriend's stuck!”

The attendant looked down at the shoe covering her crotch and replied:

“I'm sorry Miss. He's too far in.”

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