Category: Doctors and Patients

BRIEF ONES

¬ Question:

“Why does the gynecologist use two fingers during his examination?”

 Answer:

“He wants a second opinion.”

¬ Question:

“What is it? Has a wet nose and wears spectacles?”

Answer:

“A shortsighted gynecologist.”

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Category: Ethnic Stories

TIPPING

Abe, an old Jewish guy, was a yarn merchant. He lived next door to the biggest anti-Semite in town. One day the anti-Semite called up Abe and said:

“Hey Jew!!!... I need a piece of orange yarn. The length must be from the tip of your nose to the tip of your penis and I want it delivered tomorrow.”
Abe said: “OK.”
The next morning the anti-Semite was awakened at 7 AM by the sound of running engines. He ran outside to see a row of trucks lined up one after the other, dumping truckload after truckload of orange yarn in his front yard. Soon his yard was a 5-foot deep sea of orange yarn. Abe then presented a bill for $18,000 to the anti-Semite. The guy started yelling and screaming at Abe:
“What is this, Jew? This is not what I asked for! I told you I needed a piece of yarn from the end of your nose to the tip of your penis. Look at this place! What do you have to say for yourself?”
Straight-faced, Abe replied:
“I'm very careful when I deal with people like you, that's why I got a few witnesses here with me. I may be off by a few miles, so I gave you a 2% discount, but the tip of my penis is in Poland.”

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