Category: From the Mouths of Babes

PSYCHOLOGY

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying:

"Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

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Category: Drinking Problem

BOOZER'S LOGIC

 A drunk walked into a pub and said to the bartender:

“Buy everyone in the house a drink and pour yourself one.”
The bartender did just that and handed the man a bill for $39.00. The drunk said:
“Sorry, but I haven't got it.”
The bartender slapped the guy around a few times then threw him out into the street. The very next day the same drunk walked into the pub and once again said:
“Buy everyone in the house a drink and pour one for yourself.”
The bartender figured to himself that the man can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice, so he poured a round of drinks for the house, had a drink himself and handed the drunk a bill for $37.00. The drunk said:
“I haven't got it.”
The bartender picked the guy up, gave him the hiding of his life and threw him out into the street. The next day the same drunk came back into the same pub and said:
“Buy everyone in the house a drink.”
In disgust the bartender said:
“What, no drink for me this time?”
The drunk replied:
“No, you get violent when you drink.”

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Category: Blondes

HAIR COLOR

A blonde girl got sick of being called stupid, so she did something about it. She died her hair a really dark brown. Then she thought to herself:

“Now I need someone that I can prove to that I am smart.”

So, she found a sheep farmer and asked him:

“If I can tell you how many sheep you have on your farm, will you give me one?”

The farmer said:

“Sure, there's no way you can guess that.”

So, the girl thought a while, then said:

“You have 356 sheep on your farm.”

“That's amazing!” – the farmer said, – “how could you possibly know that?”

“Us intelligent people just know these things.”

Then she took her sheep and started to load it in her car, when the farmer walked over to her.

“Ma'am, if I can tell you your real hair color, will you give me my dog back?”

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