Category: Marital Bliss

MIXED EMOTIONS

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology and explaining the phenomenon of “mixed emotions”. The husband turned to his wife and said:

“Honey, that’s a bunch of crap. I bet you can’t tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time.”

She said:

“Out of all your friends, you have the biggest dick… “

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Category: From the Mouths of Babes

PSYCHOLOGY

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying:

"Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

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Category: Those Professionals

TEST

A very shy guy went into a bar and saw beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally went over to her and asked tentatively:

“Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?”

She responded by yelling, at the top of her lungs:

“No, I won't sleep with you tonight!”

Everyone in the bar was now staring at them. Naturally, the guy was hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slunk back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walked over to him and apologized. She smiled at him and said:

“I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.”

To which he responded, at the top of his lungs:

“What do you mean $200?”

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Category: Those Professionals TEST A very shy guy went into a bar and saw beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally went over to her and asked tentatively: “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?” She responded by yelling, at the top of her lungs: “No, I won't sleep with you tonight!” Everyone in the bar was now staring at them. Naturally, the guy was hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slunk back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walked over to him and apologized. She smiled at him and said: “I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.” To which he responded, at the top of his lungs: “What do you mean $200?”

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