Category: Old Age Humiliations CAUTIOUS

A group of scientists was investigating sexual activity at an advanced age. They were told of an old man who at the age of 100 years still brought home twice-weekly streetwalkers. If true, this was indeed a rare phenomena and worth looking into. A black lady scientist was so much intrigued that she volunteered to pick up the old geezer and find out his secret. The lady was young and handsome and the old gent readily swallowed the bait and took the scientist home and ravished her three times. After each session, he took a short nap, but asked the woman to hold his balls in her left hand and in her right his penis while he is asleep and not let go for even a second.

The lady scientist was enthusiastic about having made a sensational discovery, but for safety’s sake asked the old man if there is any connection between his unusual potency and the fact that his tool is held in somebody’s hand. Said the old man:

“Actually none. It’s just that the last black girl I took home, stole my purse.”

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Category: Old Age Humiliations GOOD FIT Two old ladies were outside their nursing home having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking. Lady A.: “What's that?” Lady B.: “A condom.” Lady A.: “Where'd you get it?” Lady B.: “You can get them at any drugstore.” The next day, Lady A. hobbled into the local drugstore and announced to the pharmacist that she wanted a package of condoms. The guy looked at her kind of strangely (after all, she was in her 80s), but politely asked what brand she preferred. “Doesn't matter,” – she replied, – “as long as it fits a Camel.”

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Category: Nouveau Riche THANK GOD

A golden Rolls Royce rolled to a stop before the exclusive “Fountainenbleu” Hotel in Miami. Out stepped a lady in a mink coat, the jewelry on her neck and hands dazzling in the afternoon sunshine. She requested the doorman to send out some men and carry her husband into the lobby. It took four strong bellboys to deposit the corpulent man in a comfortable armchair. As they pocketed their generous tip, one of them asked the wife pityingly:

“Can’t the poor guy walk at all?”

“Of course he can, but thank God, he doesn’t have to!”

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Category: Naughty Jokes A SURE SIGN

The two women were neighbors for many years. One of them noticed that every time she hung out her washing, it started raining, whereas when the other woman decided to do her washing the weather was always fair. One day she decided to ask her neighbor if she has some sort of system for ascertaining the weather on the day she hangs her laundry.

The woman replied:

“It is really very simple. I’m always up first in the morning and before getting out of bed, I raise the blanket and have a look inside my husband’s pajama bottoms. If I find that his organ has fallen to the left side, I know it will rain, but if it happens to fall to the right, I am positive the sun will shine.”

“And what if his penis stays in the middle?” - insisted her neighbor.

“In that case, who wants to bother with the washing!”

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Category: Naughty Jokes FLOWER ARRANGEMENT

It was a sunny day and the two women were sitting on the porch, gossiping over a cup of tea. Suddenly one of them grimaced:

“Here comes that good-for-nothing husband of mine, bringing me a bunch of flowers. I will have to open my legs for him again.”

“What is the matter?” – asked the other one uncomprehendingly. “Don’t you have any vases?”

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Category: Naughty Jokes WINDY DAY In the early morning hours a guy was walking through Soho. It was a windy day and the girl, who walked across from him, struggled mightily - and rather unsuccessfully - to prevent her short skirt from exposing her private parts. As he came abreast of the girl fighting the wind, the man remarked politely: “Airy, isn’t it?” But the girl wanted none of it and answered furiously: “What the hell did you expect, feathers?”

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Category: Naughty Jokes NOT COLOR BLIND There were no facilities at the deserted beach, so the smashing blonde who came for a swim, had to change into her bathing suit in the open. While she tried to do it as discreetly as possible, she noticed that a man, lying nearby sunbathing was actually peeking at her through his half-closed eyelids. Furiously she turned on him: “Sir, you are no gentleman!” She received a prompt response: “And you Madam, are no blonde!”

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