Category: Modern Fables

SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS

One day, the Seven Dwarfs were feeling kinda horny and were peeking through the window of Snow White's room. Because they were so short, one Dwarf stood on another Dwarf's shoulder and so on, forming a Dwarf Chain. Doc was at the very top, peeking through the windows. Snow White walked into the room, and started taking off her blouse.

“She's taking off her blouse!” - said Doc, to Dopey who was right below him.

“She's taking off her blouse!”

“She's taking off her blouse!”

Then she started to take off her skirt.

“She's taking off her skirt!” - said Doc.

“She's taking off her skirt!”

“She's taking off her skirt!”

Then she started to take off her bra.

“She's taking off her bra!”

“She's taking off her bra!”

“She's taking off her bra!”

Then she started taking off her panties.

“She's taking off her panties!”

“She's taking off her panties!”

“She's taking off her panties!”

All of a sudden, Doc heard a noise in the bushes.

“Somebody's coming!”

“Me too!”

“Me too!”

“Me too!”

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Category: Simpletons

A YOUNG MAN'S STORY

 I recall my first time with a condom. I was 16, or so. 

 I went in to buy a package of condoms. There was a beautiful woman behind the counter and she could see that I was new at it.  She handed me the package and asked, if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No."  

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store. It was empty.

She said: "Just a minute."  

And walked to the door and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. 

She asked: "Do these excite you?"

Well, I was so dumbstruck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said, it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and laid down on a desk.

"Well, come on", - she said. "We don't have much time."  

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately I could no longer hold back and pow I was done within a few minutes. She looked at me with a frown.  

"Did you put that condom on?"  

I said: "I sure did."  

And held up my thumb to show her.

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Category: Naughty Jokes

TIGHT SKIRT

One day, a large group of people was waiting for the bus at a local Greyhound station. At the front of the line was a very attractive woman dressed in a black business vest, white blouse, leather miniskirt and high heels. As the bus pulled up and opened the door, she went to board it, but found that her skirt was too tight for her to raise her leg to the required height. Looking around and thinking quickly, she reached behind her and unzipped the zipper on the back of her skirt a little and then tried again.

Again, she found that she could not maneuver the step, so once more she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more. With a smile, she looked at the bus driver and tried to board again. With disappointment, she found that she still couldn’t step that high and so with exasperation and a sigh she unzipped her skirt the rest of the way down. To her amazement, her leg still did not reach the bottom step.

Finally, a very large Texan behind her gently grabbed her by the waist, lifted her up and placed her on the bus. The woman turned to the Texan furiously and said:

“Who do you think you are to touch my body in that way? I don’t even know you!”

Nonplused, the Texan looked at her and replied:

“Well, ma’am, after you unzipped my fly I thought we were pretty good friends.”

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Category: Naughty Jokes

WINDY DAY

In the early morning hours a guy was walking through Soho. It was a windy day and the girl, who walked across from him, struggled mightily - and rather unsuccessfully - to prevent her short skirt from exposing her private parts. As he came abreast of the girl fighting the wind, the man remarked politely:

“Airy, isn’t it?”

But the girl wanted none of it and answered furiously:

“What the hell did you expect, feathers?”

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Category: Naughty Jokes WINDY DAY In the early morning hours a guy was walking through Soho. It was a windy day and the girl, who walked across from him, struggled mightily - and rather unsuccessfully - to prevent her short skirt from exposing her private parts. As he came abreast of the girl fighting the wind, the man remarked politely: “Airy, isn’t it?” But the girl wanted none of it and answered furiously: “What the hell did you expect, feathers?”

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