There was this man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear to the wall and listen. The doctor would watch this guy do this day after day. Finally he decided to see what the guy was listening to, so he too put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing. He turned to the patient and said:“I don't hear anything.”The mental patient said:“Yeah, I know. It's been like that for months!”
During the workweek at lunchtime, a secretary used to frequent the same restaurant, located conveniently near her office. She soon noticed another permanent guest of the establishment, wearing a nice carrot in his left ear. Being an Englishwoman who does not meddle in other people’s affairs, she did not comment on the unusual ear-wear and after finishing her meal went quietly on her way.Then one day, the man came in with a fresh green cucumber in his ear. This time the girl’s curiosity overcame her usual reticence and she turned to the man:“Excuse me for my impertinence, but I could not help noticing that you have a cucumber in your ear.”“I am really sorry,” – replied the man, – “but I just could not get a carrot at the greengrocer’s today.”
As a result of an accident in the workshop, a foreman’s ear was cut off. His co-workers rushed him to the nearest hospital. The duty-surgeon examined the patient and then asked:“Did anyone have the sense to bring the missing organ? If no time is wasted, it can be reattached and all that will remain from the accident will be an almost unnoticeable scar.”When they all shook their heads in negation he ordered them to hasten back to the workshop and retrieve it. A short while later the ear was brought to the hospital in a plastic bag. After the blood was washed off, the injured man was asked if this is his ear.“No,” - said the man, - “mine had a pencil behind it.”
