Category: Gay Liberation Front
CLOSE FIT

“When I get home, I’ll rip off my wife’s undies.”

“Why, are you that horny?”

“No, they just feel too tight.”

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Category: Naughty Jokes

WRITER'S CRAMP

Mrs. Smith and Mr. Peabody – both consenting adults – had a long-running relationship. A set of previously agreed code words enabled the couple to communicate, without endangering their happy marriages. The code for arranging a meeting was “typewriter.”

One day Mr. Peabody felt horny and thought that meeting Mrs. Smith would somewhat alleviate his state. So, he sent his son over to the Smiths and told him to ask the mistress of the house if he can borrow their typewriter. The boy came back soon and conveyed Mrs. Smith’s regret, saying the machine only has a red ribbon.

A week passed. Mrs. Smith already had a black ribbon, but there was no word from Mr. Peabody. At last, she decided to send over her daughter with a message that the typewriter is now available for his use. But Mr. Peabody no longer needed it. He told the girl to pass the message to her mother that he has already written by hand.

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Category: Naughty Jokes

DID IT PASS?

It was a rainy evening and the pair of lovers decided that under the circumstances, the best location for a tryst would be under the railway-bridge. Everything went fine, the man was horny, the woman willing and soon they were humping merrily. Suddenly with an unusually loud roar, a train thundered across the bridge above their heads. The poor man could not stand the noise and pressed both hands over his ears, as strongly as he could. After a while, he queried his mate:

“Did it pass?”

The woman put her hand onto her behind and stated:

“Not yet.”

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Category: Marital Bliss

HOMESICK

An American tourist came to a house of ill repute in Paris, put $100 on the table and asked for the oldest, fattest, most ugly and most disgusting woman they have. The Madam was nonplused:

“For $100 Sir, you could have the youngest, prettiest, best looking girl.”

“Madam, you don’t understand,” – explained the American. “It is not as if I was horny. I am just homesick.”

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Category: From the Nouts of Babes

A SAD EVENT

It was a rainy Sunday in London (what else?) and the family was cooped up inside the small apartment. The father felt horny, so in order to have the necessary undisturbed solitude, he hit upon an idea to keep his son occupied.

“You know what, Billy boy, look out through the window and I shall give you a penny for every man in a top hat that you see on the street.”

The child liked the game, ran to the living-room window and while he was watching the scene below, his parents were busily consummating their marriage. Soon the boy’s voice was heard from the other room:

“Daddy, I see a man in a top hat.”

“Excellent, you earned yourself a penny,” - shouted the father and went on banging away.

“Two men wearing top hats came out of a house.”

“All right son, I owe you three pennies.”

Suddenly the boy yelled exultantly:

“Poppy, this fuck will cost you plenty! A funeral procession is coming around the corner.”

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Category: Male Chauvinsits

INSATIABLE

The young and horny construction worker was busy at his job, but not that busy that he did not notice the scantily dressed stunner passing. In fact, he got so excited by her half-hidden, half-revealed beauties that he had to jack off right there. After a while the dreamboat passed by again. The worker could not restrain himself and jerked off again. A few minutes later, the knockout appeared on the street again and the man on the scaffolding masturbated once more. Not a half-an-hour had passed and there she was again. This was a little too much for our guy:

“Is she a nymphomaniac,” – he wondered, – “or what?”

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Category: Marital Bliss HOMESICK

An American tourist came to a house of ill repute in Paris, put $100 on the table and asked for the oldest, fattest, most ugly and most disgusting woman they have. The Madam was nonplused:

“For $100 Sir, you could have the youngest, prettiest, best looking girl.”

“Madam, you don’t understand,” – explained the American. “It is not as if I was horny. I am just homesick.”

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Category: Naughty Jokes WRITER’S CRAMP Mrs. Smith and Mr. Peabody – both consenting adults – had a long-running relationship. A set of previously agreed code words enabled the couple to communicate, without endangering their happy marriages. The code for arranging a meeting was “typewriter.” One day Mr. Peabody felt horny and thought that meeting Mrs. Smith would somewhat alleviate his state. So, he sent his son over to the Smiths and told him to ask the mistress of the house if he can borrow their typewriter. The boy came back soon and conveyed Mrs. Smith’s regret, saying the machine only has a red ribbon. A week passed. Mrs. Smith already had a black ribbon, but there was no word from Mr. Peabody. At last, she decided to send over her daughter with a message that the typewriter is now available for his use. But Mr. Peabody no longer needed it. He told the girl to pass the message to her mother that he has already written by hand. Throw Back Guy: Professional jerseys from NFL, NHL, NBA, & MLB teams. Buy jerseys at cheap clearance prices. Get up to 40% off retail jersey prices. http://www.throwbackguy.com

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Category: Gay Liberation Front CLOSE FIT

“When I get home, I’ll rip off my wife’s undies.”

“Why, are you that horny?”

“No, they just feel too tight.”

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Category: Naughty Jokes DID IT PASS? It was a rainy evening and the pair of lovers decided that under the circumstances, the best location for a tryst would be under the railway-bridge. Everything went fine, the man was horny, the woman willing and soon they were humping merrily. Suddenly with an unusually loud roar, a train thundered across the bridge above their heads. The poor man could not stand the noise and pressed both hands over his ears, as strongly as he could. After a while, he queried his mate: “Did it pass?” The woman put her hand onto her behind and stated: “Not yet.”

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