Category: Computers

HAROLD, THE COMPUTER GUY

I was having trouble with my computer, so I called Harold, the computer guy, to come over.
Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him:

"So, what was wrong?"

He replied:

"It was an ID ten T error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired:

"An ID ten T Error? What's that, in case I need to fix it again?"

Harold grinned:

"Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"No"-  I replied.

"Write it down" - he said - "and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote it down:

"I D 1 0 T."

Shame, I used to like Harold  .................

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Category: Doctors and Patients
WHO IS SPEAKING?

A phone call was received at the obstetrician's office:
“I need a doctor urgently” – said a frantic voice. “My wife is going to deliver any minute now. Her contractions are only two minutes apart!”
“Is this her first child?” – the nurse asked.
“No, you idiot!” – the man shouted. “This is her husband!”

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Category: Computers

PERFECT TRANSLATION

After many years of experimentation, the Army announced that it had managed to develop a computer program to translate any English text into Russian. The commanding general, who came to see the new product, was invited to choose a sentence for translation. The general thought for a minute and then uttered:
“Out of sight, out of mind!”
Within 5 seconds, a Russian sentence appeared on the screen. Everybody stared at the Cyrillic script, but as none of those present understood Russian, nobody could verify that the translation was correct. Suddenly the general had a bright idea (it does happen sometimes, believe me!):
“Let the computer translate the Russian sentence back to English.”
Again 5 seconds passed and then the translation came up. It read:
“Invisible idiot!”

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Category: C'est la Vie

CAMPING TRIP

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend:

“Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied:
“I see millions and millions of stars.”
“And what does that tell you?”
“Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it tells me that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Why, what does it tell YOU, Holmes?”
Holmes was silent for a minute and then spoke:
“Watson, you idiot. Some jerk has stolen our tent.”

 

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Category: Computers

HAROLD, THE COMPUTER GUY

I was having trouble with my computer, so I called Harold, the computer guy, to come over.

Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him:
"So, what was wrong?"
He replied:
"It was an ID ten T error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired:
"An ID ten T Error? What's that, in case I need to fix it again?"
Harold grinned:
"Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"
"No"- I replied.
"Write it down" - he said - "and I think you'll figure it out."
So I wrote it down:
"I D 1 0 T."
Shame, I used to like Harold .................

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