Category: Computers

HAROLD, THE COMPUTER GUY

I was having trouble with my computer, so I called Harold, the computer guy, to come over.
Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him:

"So, what was wrong?"

He replied:

"It was an ID ten T error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired:

"An ID ten T Error? What's that, in case I need to fix it again?"

Harold grinned:

"Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"No"-  I replied.

"Write it down" - he said - "and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote it down:

"I D 1 0 T."

Shame, I used to like Harold  .................

Custom Search

Category: Ecumenical Jokes

THE SECRET

Every year, just before Easter, the Chief Rabbi in Rome went to the Vatican and presented an ancient, by now quite tattered envelope to the Pope. The Pope inspected the envelope, shook his head and handed it back to the Chief Rabbi, who then departed. This has been going on for nearly two thousand years. One year recently it happened that there was a new Pope and a new Chief Rabbi. When the Chief Rabbi presented the ancient envelope to the Pope, as he had been instructed to do by his predecessor, the Pope looked it over and handed it back as he had been told to in turn by his predecessor...but then the Pope said:

“This is an unusual ritual. I don't understand it. What is in this envelope?”
“Damned if I know,” – answered the Chief Rabbi. “I'm new here myself. But, hey, let's open it and find out.”
“Good idea,” – said the Pope.
So together, they slowly and carefully opened the envelope. And do you know what they found? The caterer's bill for the Last Supper!

Custom Search

Category: Computers

HAROLD, THE COMPUTER GUY

I was having trouble with my computer, so I called Harold, the computer guy, to come over.

Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him:
"So, what was wrong?"
He replied:
"It was an ID ten T error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired:
"An ID ten T Error? What's that, in case I need to fix it again?"
Harold grinned:
"Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"
"No"- I replied.
"Write it down" - he said - "and I think you'll figure it out."
So I wrote it down:
"I D 1 0 T."
Shame, I used to like Harold .................

Custom Search

Category: Marital Bliss ENTIRELY YOUR CHOICE

During a European tour, an American couple came to a Swiss holiday resort and asked if there were any vacancies. Upon receiving an affirmative answer, the husband wanted to know the price of a room.

“$100 a day,” - replied the clerk at the reception.

The room was spacious and well furnished, the food excellent, the service courteous, the countryside beautiful, so the couple stayed for a week. On the last evening, the husband went down to the reception desk and requested the bill. To his astonishment it came to $1,400. He asked to see the manager:

“I was told that the price would be $100 per day and we stayed for 7 days only,” - he complained

“Yes, but we charge $100 a week for the use of our well-appointed tennis courts,” - replied the manager.

“But it’s the middle of winter, the snow is a meter high and the temperature outside is minus 25°.”

“The management regrets that you found the weather too cold. It is entirely our distinguished guests’ choice, whether they use our facilities, or not. They are there at their disposal,”- continued the manager. “Further, we billed you 100 additional dollars for the use of our Olympic-size swimming pool

“Are you crazy? It is an outdoor pool and it is frozen solid” - protested the tourist.

“Frozen or not, it was there for you to use. Then there is $100 charge per person for a ski-pass”.

Needless to say, it was in vain that the guest pointed out that neither he, nor his wife could ski. The manager summed up:

“And then there is $100 each, for our bobsled course, for the extensive bicycle paths and the well-equipped nursery, which takes care of your offspring, while you enjoy our luxurious facilities. That comes to $1,400 exactly, without service charge.”

The tourist thought for a minute and then wrote out a check. Now it was the manager’s turn to act surprised:

“But this check is for $700 only,” - he stated the obvious.

“Yes, but I charged you $100 a day for fucking my wife.”

“What! That ugly, fat, disgusting old hag?”

“I’m sorry that you did not like my wife, but it was entirely your own choice whether you made use of her services, or not. She was there at your disposal.”

Throw Back Guy: Professional jerseys from NFL, NHL, NBA, & MLB teams. Buy jerseys at cheap clearance prices. Get up to 40% off retail jersey prices. http://www.throwbackguy.com

Custom Search

Category: Computers IF A RESTAURANT FUNCTIONED LIKE MICROSOFT Patron: “Waiter!” Waiter: “Hi, my name is Bill and I'm your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?” Patron: “There's a fly in my soup!” Waiter: “Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.” Patron: “No, it's still there.” Waiter: “Maybe it's the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with a fork.” Patron: “Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.” Waiter: “Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What kind of bowl are you using?” Patron: “A SOUP bowl!” Waiter: “Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem. How was the bowl set up?” Patron: “You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?!” Waiter: “Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?” Patron: “I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!” Waiter: “Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?” Patron: “You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??” Waiter: “Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.” Patron: “Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?” Waiter: “The current Soup of the Day is tomato.” Patron: “Fine. Bring me the tomato soup and the check. I'm running late now.” The waiter left and returned with another bowl of soup and the check: Waiter: “Here you are, Sir, the soup and your check.” Patron: “But this is potato soup.” Waiter: “Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.” Patron: “Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.” The waiter left. Patron: “Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!” The check: Soup of the Day ……… .........……… $5.00 Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day…. $2.50 Access to support …………………… $10.00 Total ………………………………… $17.50

If you enjoy my jokes, please recommend this webpage to your friends! Thanks.

Custom Search