Category: Naughty Jokes

A VERITABLE ROMANCE

He grasped me firmly, but gently, just above my elbow and guided me into
 a room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone. He
 approached me soundlessly, from behind and spoke in a low, reassuring voice
 close to my ear:

"Just relax."

Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing and moving upward along my calves, slowly, but steadily. My breath caught in my throat. I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn't care. His touch was so experienced, so sure. When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight shudder and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding.

I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage. And then, as he cupped
my firm, full breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply. Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and into my panties.

Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and expectant. This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking charge. A man not used to taking 'No' for an answer. A man who would tell me what he wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say . . . .

"Okay ma'am, you can board your flight now."

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Category: Doctors and Patients

DO YOU KNOW

 A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress.

After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her:
"Do you know what I'm doing?"
"Yes," - she replied, - "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities."
"That is right," - said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts.
"Do you know what I'm doing now?" - he asked.
"Yes," - the woman said, - "you're checking for any lumps or breast cancer.
"Correct," - replied the shady doctor.
Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked:
"Do you know what I'm doing now?"
"Yes," - she said. "You're getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place."

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Category: Naughty Jokes

QUESTION AND ANSWER

 Question:
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
Answer:
“How do you breathe through that thing?

 Question:
“What's the difference between a slut and a bitch?”
Answer:
“A slut screws everyone. A bitch screws everyone but you”

 Question:
“What do a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?”
Answer:
“By the time you're finished with the breasts and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.”

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Category: Boys and Girls

FOXY GIRL

In a train compartment, there were three men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers joined in conversation, which very soon turned to the erotic. The young girl had a suggestion:
“If each of you will give me $1, I will show you my legs.”
The men, charmed by this young girl, all pulled a buck out of their wallet. The girl pulled up her dress a bit to show her legs. Then she said:
“If each of you gentlemen will give me $10, I'll show you my thighs.”
The men being what they are, all took out a ten-dollar bill. The girl then pulled up her dress all the way to her legs in full. The conversation continued and the men, a bit excited, have all taken off their coats. Now the young girl said:
“If you will give me $100, I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis.”

All three forked over the money. The girl then turned to the window and pointed outside at a building they were passing.

“See there in the distance. That's the hospital where I had it done!”

 

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Category: Naughty Jokes

OCCUPATIONAL HAZARD

Two lice met.

“What happened to you?” - asked the first when he saw how terrible his friend looked - runny nose, red eyes and teeth chattering.

“I got a ride down here in some motorcyclist’s mustache and nearly froze my nuts off.”

“You must be crazy to nest in a motorcyclist’s mustache. Why don’t you find yourself a warm cozy place, like between the thighs of young girl.”

After a week, the two lice met again. The other one looked even more chilled and miserable than during their first meeting.

“I did everything you said,” - he explained. “I made a perfect landing between the thighs of a young maiden and got so warm and cozy that I dozed off.”

“And so?” - asked the first lice.

“And so the next thing I know, I'm on this guy's mustache again!”

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Category: Boys & Girls FOXY GIRL

In a train compartment, there were three men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers joined in conversation, which very soon turned to the erotic. The young girl had a suggestion:

“If each of you will give me $1, I will show you my legs.”

The men, charmed by this young girl, all pulled a buck out of their wallet. The girl pulled up her dress a bit to show her legs. Then she said:

“If each of you gentlemen will give me $10, I'll show you my thighs.”

The men being what they are, all took out a ten-dollar bill. The girl then pulled up her dress all the way to her legs in full. The conversation continued and the men, a bit excited, have all taken off their coats. Now the young girl said:

“If you will give me $100, I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis.”

All three forked over the money. The girl then turned to the window and pointed outside at a building they were passing.

“See there in the distance. That's the hospital where I had it done!”

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