Category: Gay Liberation Front CLOSE FIT

“When I get home, I’ll rip off my wife’s undies.”

“Why, are you that horny?”

“No, they just feel too tight.”

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Category: From the Mouths of Babes SO FAR

Mr. and Mrs. Brown listened with an apologetic smile to their 6-year old son’s story, about how he played doctor with their neighbor’s daughter, 7-year old Monica.

“We want to marry,” - declared Lance decisively.

“That’s nice,” - said the father, - “but shouldn’t you wait for a while? After all, you are so young. And anyway, how are going to pay the bills?”

“Oh, we discussed that, “ - answered Lance. “We shall pool our pocket money and in winter clear away the snow for the neighbors. We will manage very nicely.”

“And what will you do when you have a baby?” - asked Mrs. Brown.

Lance raised his eyes to his mother:

“So far we've been lucky!”

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Category: From the Mouths of Babes HIDE AND SEEK

The phone rang and Moishe’le answered it:

“Hi Moishe’le, tell me, where is your father?”

“In the attic with the firemen,” - whispered Moishe’le.

“And your mother?”

“In the cellar with the policemen,” - whispered Moishe’le in an even quieter voice.

“And your sister?”

“In the garden with the soldiers.”

“What the heck is happening at your place. What are they all doing?”

“Searching for me.”

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Category: From the Mouths of Babes COLOR CODING

At a wedding a child asks his mother:

“Mummy why is that woman in a white dress?”

“The bride is wearing a white dress, because this is the happiest day of her life and white is the color of happiness.”

The child reflects for a while on his mother’s answer and then asks again:

“Then why is the bridegroom in black?”

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Category: For Your Kids SO FAR, SO GOOD

When asked by somebody, who does not really give a damn about my well-being, how I am, I always tell him the joke.

A man jumped off the top floor of the Empire State building. As he was plunging past the 50th floor, somebody stuck his head out one of the windows and asked the falling man:

“Hey man, how are you?”

“So far, so good!” - came the answer.

(This is the end of Joke One, but it has a continuation).

The building was high and the fall long. While the man was descending, a crowd gathered below. Luckily enough, our man fell into a bush and nothing worse happened to him, than a few insignificant scratches. Just when he got up and brushed himself off, a policeman arrived and asked him:

“What the hell is happening here?”

“I don’t know,” - answered the man. “I just got here.”

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Category: Ethnic Stories SMALL DIFFERENCE A Jewish and Chinese traveling salesman shared a compartment on the train. Suddenly the Jewish salesman got up and slapped the face of his fellow traveler. “What was that for?” - demanded the flabbergasted Chinese. “For Pearl Harbor” - replied the other one. “But I’m Chinese and it was the Japanese who attacked Pearl Harbor.” “Japanese, Chinese, it makes no difference to me.” For a while all was quiet, as the two contemplated the incident. Suddenly, the Chinese got up and slapped the other salesman’s face. Now it was the turn of the Jewish salesman to be surprised: “And what was that for?” - he asked in astonishment. “That was for sinking the “Titanic,” - was the reply. “But the Titanic was sunk by an iceberg.” “Iceberg, Rosenberg, it makes no difference to me.”

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Category: Ethnic Stories TO EACH IN ACCORDANCE HER NEEDS

For the first time in her life a countrywoman visited the big city and as she needed some underwear, her friend took her to a big department store.

“If you buy a pack of panties, you can get a better deal, Madam” - said the seller. “What kind would you prefer? A pack of seven, five, or twelve?”

“What is the best?” - whispered the woman to her friend.

“For everyday use, I would suggest a pack of seven. The undies are marked ‘Sunday’, ‘Monday’, etc.”

“And what is the purpose of the five-pack?”

“These are for French women. You know, on weekends they go without.”

“And the pack of twelve?”

“Oh, these? These are for the Poles. They are inscribed ‘January’, ‘February’, etc.”

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