Category: For Your Kids

FAMOUS LAST SENTENCES

“Tom, throw me the hammer.”

“Have no fear! The ice is quite thick.”

“What could be the purpose of this button here?’

“Nonsense my dear, there are no sharks in these waters.”

“Somebody is going to get hurt doing that.”

“Look how cute these porpoises are!”

Patient in hospital: “I’m feeling much better.”

     Biologist: “This type of snake isn’t poisonous.”

     Captain: “This ship is unsinkable.”

     Bicyclist: “Look, no hands!”

     Jack-of-all-trades: “This shelf should hold.”

     Inventor: “Let’s try it!”

     Computer: “Are you sure? (Y/N).”

     Prehistoric man: “I wonder what is in that cave?”

     Guest in restaurant: “I chose the fried mushrooms.”

     Electrician: “Of course I removed the fuse.”

     Watchman: “Is anybody there?”

     Policeman: “This was his 6^th shot. His gun must be empty.”

     Animal-tamer: “These lions have been fed.”

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Category: Loonies

NUCLEAR ARSENAL

On New Year’s Eve, the inmates of the loony bin put on a show. The first to appear on the stage, a heavyset, huge man, clad only in his briefs, flexed his mighty muscles and declared:

“I am a hydrogen bomb!

Everybody clapped his hands. Next to come on stage was a thin, paltry fellow, stark naked, who shouted in a thin, reedy voice:

“I am an atomic bomb.”

Most of the audience got on its feet and in sheer panic escaped from the auditorium. A visitor managed to stop one of them and curiously inquired:

“A hydrogen bomb is much mightier, than an atomic bomb. Why did you run only when the second man appeared on stage?”

“Did you see how short his fuse was?” – answered the inmate and went on running.     

   

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