Category: Marital Bliss

SOUND ADVICE

A man went to see the Rabbi.

"Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."

The Rabbi asked:

"What's wrong?"

The man replied:

"My wife is poisoning me."

The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asked:

"How can that be?"

"I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"

The Rabbi then offered:

"Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."

A week later the Rabbi called the man and said:

"Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"

The man said yes and the Rabbi replied:

"Take the poison."

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Category: For Your Kids

FAMOUS LAST SENTENCES

“Tom, throw me the hammer.”

“Have no fear! The ice is quite thick.”

“What could be the purpose of this button here?’

“Nonsense my dear, there are no sharks in these waters.”

“Somebody is going to get hurt doing that.”

“Look how cute these porpoises are!”

Patient in hospital: “I’m feeling much better.”

     Biologist: “This type of snake isn’t poisonous.”

     Captain: “This ship is unsinkable.”

     Bicyclist: “Look, no hands!”

     Jack-of-all-trades: “This shelf should hold.”

     Inventor: “Let’s try it!”

     Computer: “Are you sure? (Y/N).”

     Prehistoric man: “I wonder what is in that cave?”

     Guest in restaurant: “I chose the fried mushrooms.”

     Electrician: “Of course I removed the fuse.”

     Watchman: “Is anybody there?”

     Policeman: “This was his 6^th shot. His gun must be empty.”

     Animal-tamer: “These lions have been fed.”

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